Chixe

As far as the name game goes, my name that I call myself on my site isn't true. You just gotta have some privacy, some personal security. But, if I use anything, it's avuee. People I guess aren't sure how to pronounce it or something, but it looks feminine. It's weird because people think that's my name because I use it so frequently as an alias.

But, no I never assumed you were a girl.

Well, the most disturbing thing comes for me in a different way. Most people think that I am actually female, and I do blame my penchant for liking cute things. The resounding fact that I enjoy using tons of emoticons during my conversations online makes it problematic as many readers think that I am female.

Oh well, and If you are wondering, I am definitely male. It's not fun when you have to make a post to actually clarify and no one believes you.

Ha ha.

I know Tyme used to have this problem and still comes across it occasionally. I can't say that I have ever mistaken gender online because usually I just don't assume one way or another what gender they are I guess. I could see it being a problem for many women who voice strong opinions and stand up to the men in the web community though.

I get the opposite. A lot of people think I'm a woman for some reason especially after they read my blog. I find it extremely baffling.

Who said role reversal wasn't that prevalent?

Yeah, Kami, I always thought you were a cry baby girl too, lol.

Sometimes it is hard to find out though, esp. when you haven't been reading the blog in question all that long. After a while it gets clearer.

I wonder if it's important, but somehow we all think it's nice to know. Online identities are weird. I'm finding myself to be more open about myself as a go along.

You are a girl? I did NOT know that.

Yes I still bump into. It's funny, mainstream (non-geeky) people 99% of the time think female. The geeky assume male but I understand why. The niches I decided to interact in were male dominated (and still are).

That's why I am thinking about the suggestion of adding gender as an option to my.9rules (have to talk to the guys) because it is very easy to offend someone by making the wrong assumption. I remember Oli went through something similar and took it very well. I know of others who were offended because they felt it should be obvious. It's embarrassing to the person who made the mistake. Most social communities have that basic information.

Kamigoroshi - in the US most names ending with "i" are female.

Kamigoroshi isn't a girl? oops.

I think a lot of it depends on what sort of online interacting you're doing with who. I know when i used to frequent a lot of Apple/web-design/tech related forums, you were just assumed male unless it was blatantly obvious that you weren't (from your name/avatar/something) or you stated otherwise. I remember one thread in particular on a certain forum where a prominent member had worked hard, for quite a while (months or maybe years) to not say anything that would indicate their gender, either way. Then finally they put up a thread, "Is __(member name)__ male or female?" And there was quite an interesting discussion that followed about how we do or do not indicate gender in online communication.

Nowadays I frequent a few forums and lists for equestrians, and on these boards you're considered female (and about age 18) until proven otherwise because a majority of ameteur riders are female, you don't see a lot of males until you get to professional levels.

So I think a lot depends on context.

I'm going to play Devil's Advocate: I don't see why anyone wouldn't assume you were male. Men are in a huge majority online, it's pretty much the default gender for anyone. I don't see how anyone can honestly be surprised they were mistaken for a male unless they make it clear they're not.

It's not an ideal state of affairs, and the tables are surely turning, but as things stand: you're male until proven otherwise in most cases.

I, as a man, generally don't assume anything. If I think about it, I do tend to see someone as a man. But nowadays, with Avatars and other ways of presenting yourself, I feel women should make an effort to present themselves as women. Nothing is sexier than a woman who knows how to use 9rules , right :-) ?

I think people assume you're a man because of the coffee bean. women NEVER drink coffee. the coffee industry is a man's world. :)

seriously though, about the web design thing:
the traditional stereotype placed upon people who do any kind of computer programming is that of an overweight, highly opinionated, lonely nerd with facial hair. I work at a company that has a lot of people that fit that stereotype. there are also a large number who don't, including women.
When someone's gender online isn't clear, I think the social stereotype placed on programers subconsciously makes people assume that person is a man.

haha.
I can honestly say I've never had that problem.
=P

Yes, the drinking coffee thing... so throws a person. LOL. That stereotype is thankfully (seems anyway) to be getting less and less. It is still there. I remember being literally the only girl in my class studying software engineering and the linux community certainly found it novel me being not a male. I don't know I am with Scrivs on the not seeing identity.

Tyme I do think the idea is good, I've resorted to the tag line approach but was in silly mood yesterday (Ok I'm usually in a silly mood - see that is womanly lol).

Tone may have something to do with it - I do have a tendency to rant I guess if you want to whack a label on some of my posts. Not sure if ranting is a male thing or just something that people over 30 do ;)

Maybe the ranting is a "Type A" thing, speaking from my own experience and absolutely not aiming that at anyone here. I tend to get "spun up" as my husband terms it, and he deals with exactly the same thing from his boss who he terms a Type A, but he's never applied that label to me (maybe he's scared to go that far). And I've always ranted about things, not just since I've become a member of the "over 30 crowd!" :)

I've no idea what gender anyone here thought I was before I put up an avatar, since I never encountered a comment that was an indicator either way. For me, when I look at usernames, if it's not totally clear whether male or female, I have a sort of "neutral" gender in my head, if that makes any sense. Just imagine a little question mark next to the name in my head. I remember the confusion about Oli, but for some reason, I just knew Oli was male from the beginning. Maybe tone of "voice" had something to do with it.

The context has a lot to do with it: I belong to a quilting forum, where it's probably safe to say that 99.999% of the members are female, if not ALL the members. I also belong to a Mustang enthusiast forum, and probably 90% of those members are male. Just goes with the territory on those things. (and on the Mustang forum, us few females put up with some comments that are not exactly fit for company, and avatars that are definitely "male oriented! Again, goes with the territory.) Here at 9rules, it could go either way, but it is a rather techie environment, which is still predominantly male, but thankfully, it's on the move toward changing.

I don't think of ranting as male or female. I know plenty of great online ranters of both sexes.

My problem isn't that people assume I'm a man. Instead, they think that I'm fat/ugly/lonely because I have a site about frozen food.

Of course, it is great to meet them and have them realize that I am none of those things. In fact, I am positively adorable.

Maybe you should have some fun with your (seeming) man-ness. I would.

P.S. I though you were a man, but that's because there's a "Get people started on Wordpress" guy out there who uses 'Tamba' and is in the UK, so I just grouped you together in my head. I do not, however, assume that you are a heavily pierced male nurse.

Well at least I'm not a heavily pierced male nursse then. I have the piercings though but not so heavily ;)

Ive never had that problem either, but I usually use my name and it's obviously female.

I do have to admit, when I first met you on IRC, i had no idea you were a she, until I saw a conversation you were having with someone else and it came up.

I drink an awful lot of coffee-----I use my dog's name to identify myself all over the web because I think privacy and the web's anonoymous facade is vital whether I'm a man or woman.

Wait a second, most of the people that I meet online are mostly women. At least around the sort of blogs I often visit. Blogs of the personal niche are heavily populated by women I guess. Men tend to write more factual to the point posts.

I guess it's the "I rant therefore I'm a woman" stereotype.

Karmitosed, I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I didn't realize that was a coffee bean until just now! I thought it was somebody's beautiful lips. Now I'll slink away to get some eyeglasses.

And I did think Kamigoroshi was a woman, because of the "i" at the end of the name and the cute avatar.

This is such a great question because it really does show you what attributes you think are uniquely female and which are male. For example, if somebody uses a name or an avatar that's whimsical I almost always think female. One interesting thing is that I've never been wrong when I've guessed somebody was a man, but I've often mistaken men for women. Maybe it's because I (oh I shouldn't admit this, but here goes) I almost always guess that someone I don't know who I like is going to be a woman. (Now I've got to slink off and to some radical gender stereotype retraining!)

And I don't know about the online population being more male than female. Does anybody know what the gender breakdown on 9rules is?

I don't think I ever had an online journal where it was unknown, I don't remember saying anything about it one way or another at first but I'm sure some of what I originally wrote alluded to my gender.

I took some little online test a long time ago which read most of my writing as male, my personal writings were read as female but anything I wrote which dealt with politics, or pop culture were rated on the male side of the scale. I can't really remember where it was but I found it kind of interesting.

I too use my real name so there is really never any confusion. Its the Internet, using your real name isnt compromising your security IMO....but my name is spelled funny so sometimes people think its French (and male) but its like Stephanie, just spelled differently.

bloglily: Someone's beautiful, withered, chopped-off lips?

I get that all the time too! My first name is non gender specific so I get assumed as a male for all of my online communications..

although I guess using a cartoon bunny aviator on 9rules should be a bit of a giveaway

Cartoon bunnies could be anyone. ;)

I usually either use my real name or some variation of my nickname, Birdy, so I would imagine people know what I am. There's a couple of women's forums where I'm GT40 as everything I usually use was taken, but on them it's assumed you're female. I don't really think about other posters' gender unless their name also makes it obvious.

I remember once on WebmasterWorld there was a thread where people revealed their gender and it was much closer to 50/50 than everyone assumed.

Happens to me all the time, both on the net and in real life, but I think it's fun.

Actually it would be fun to try it out for a week or so - to be a man I mean.... *giggles*

I've never really had anyone assume that I'm a man. That's probably because I usually use my own name as an alias (or something else that's also undeniably girly), plus my girlyness is usually pretty obvious because I can't go for very long without mentioning something distinctly feminine like shopping, cute shoes, etc.