Chixe

Do you cook? You can start cooking healthier meals for him... that lets you give him a nudge in the right direction without saying a single thing. Of course that doesn't solve the problem, but it's a step.

do u have any creative ideas? or a good cook book maybe that would have meals in it that men like? lol..i swear, i would cook him all kinds of great healthy stuff, the only problem is that i cant seem to get enough meat in there for him. However....we did have turkey tacos, instead of beer, the other night and he really liked those..

beer = beef....=)

Turkey chilli is also easy to pull off. In dishes that have a lot of different flavours like that if you season well, then you're not really missing the meat, just the texture of it, so you can be more flexible with what you use. I've come to like tofu in my curry better than I ever liked chicken, pork, or beef.

Don't know how picky he is, but a turnip can work as a faux baked potato. Does he like fish? More fish in place of red meat.

Speaking of beer, stout beers are less fattening than ales and lagers, but stout is kind of an acquired taste to most.

thank you for the wonderful ideas! I've never heard the of the turnip replacement! And no...he isnt really picky, so i should be able to be pretty successful here. Thank you!

Exercise. My roommate and I have both made the decision to exercise more. We're both really busy and have weird schedules so we've been taking walks through our neighborhood.

We don't run or jog yet, just walk. It feels good and it gives us a chance to catch up with each other. Our neighborhood is nicely sliced up into blocks so we have a 1 mile, 1.5 mile and a 2 mile route to walk depending on how much time and energy we have.

This is the first time I've EVER stuck with any sort of exercise plan. Make it fun. Make it simple and make it something enjoyable. Long walks in a park or around where you live are perfect and it'll give you time to talk and be together as well.

Never a bad thing. :)

I second peroty. Go exercise together. Dietary changes are also important, but realize that he's gotta want it for himself enough to actually do something about it. If he does, then dietary changes shouldn't be a challenge. Start by making a simple rule that if you're going to get full, get full on veggies. Drop the fried foods, BBQ'd foods and as many processed sugars as possible (going for a 30-30-40 plan) and see how that works. Also, I suggest this article on figuring out how many calories you need to lose weight. (Yes, it's on my own blog, but I hope you don't see it as a shameless plug. I just think it's one of the more informative articles there.) Also, I put up some info on how I've lost 70-some pounds over the past 3 years here.

Bedroom exercise.

Count me as "thirding" Peroty. Going for a walk together (especially if one or both of you have dogs that need regular exercise) kills two birds at once. It strenthens your relationship by spending special time together and walking burns calories.

That's a lot of weight to gain in one year. You didn't mention his age but if he is fairly young unless he never gets off the couch and stuffs his face with twinkies daily he might want a medical check-up to rule out a health issue.
Running or walking three times a week at least working up to three to five miles.

Just healthy eating in general not a diet just eating only healthy foods learning how to cook them well, there are so many good cook books out there for healthy food, and making it a way of life.

Tell him you love him at any weight (however you do that depends on your relationship) then tell him if his weight really bothers him to (insert health advice here).

It's all about presentation.

Start up some sort of sport or exercise. My boyfriend and I play tag rugby on occasion, and we're considering doing yoga or a dance class at some point. Still, we've both gained a bit of weight since moving in together (him 5 and a half kilograms, me four kilograms). I think that's just something that happens--you're calm, you're happy, you eat regular meals together. All of that adds up to a little bit of weight gain, for sure.

As for being sensitive, if you want him to change his life in terms of eating habits or physical habits, the easiest way to accomplish that is to start doing those things yourself and allow him to follow, if he will. If he won't follow, then he's not really committed to losing those 25lbs, after all.

Also, instead of saying you'll love him at any weight (because you really don't know that, actually), tell him you love him and just want him to be healthy--that you want to be healthy together.

LOL! This is always a trap!

First rule:
You can never acknowledge your mate has put on weight. If they say they have, just say, "really? You think? I hadn't noticed".

Second rule:
If they ask you how to lose weight, always start with, "why are you even thinking about that? You look great!" then proceed cautiously. Always end with, "but I think you look great babe", etc.

Third rule:
You have, or will, also put n weight. Keep that in mind when you talk to him/her about their weight. There will come a day when it's repaid.

:)

All joking aside, a person's weight naturally fluctuates. As we age, our metabolism changes, which is why people struggle to keep off the pounds as they age, even when nothing else changes (diet is the same, activity is the same).

Now, 25 lbs. is a pretty big fluctuation, but it sounds like you hadn't noticed prior to the weigh in. I'd tell him if he's unhappy about it, you'll help him shed it if you can. Go hiking, eat fish for dinner, etc. But, if you love this guy, then part of that is accepting him as he is. To me, weight is kind of a minor issue, as long as he's remaining healthy (and can see his own penis). :)

I don't know how to deal with other people or anything, but I lost about the same in the last 6 months or so because I was sick of being a fat slob.

You know how? I stopped eating crap.

Really, it's easy as that: buy some healthy food instead of junk. Lots of salads, turkey if you must have meat, or have low-fat fish, give up on sugar drinks and candy bars but eat an apple etc.

Cut down on bread, and the creamed coffees at work all day long. Also, eat regularly: have breakfast, lunch and an early light dinners...

It's not rocket science is it? In fact, it's the easiest thing I ever did and I can't believe the thought never occurred to me before.

Oh, and I started drinking wine again instead of beer ;)

Good luck with convincing someone else of that though.

@leliathomas

Also, instead of saying you'll love him at any weight (because you really don't know that, actually), tell him you love him and just want him to be healthy--that you want to be healthy together.

That may be true but if he's foolish enough to actually BELIEVE it, well....

That may be true but if he's foolish enough to actually BELIEVE it, well....

Why on earth would it be more believable/better to say "I'll love you no matter what weight you are?" In a relationship, you DO honestly want the other person to be healthy, I would hope, along with yourself.

You can't, I don't think, make a promise that you'd love them, even if they started looking like Jabba the Hutt. That's unhealthy, and it causes a lot of problems in a relationship, perhaps least of all a possible loss of attraction or sexual dysfunction issues.

Anyway, enough of the tangent. Back to regular programming...

Well...he does want to lose the weight, and we dropped fast food about 2 weeks ago, which is great. And we have gone out an walked the last 2 nights =)
and scrivs....bedroom exercise is regular lol

thank you guys for all of your input. I never thought of the 25lbs being abnormal, but now that you mention it, i should probably get him to the doctor for a physical. He is only 23, so i'm not sure...is there a change in metabolism at 23?

As for me...i have done nothing but lose weight since we got together. I had about 15-20 lbs that i wanted to take off, so i joined weight watchers when had first started dating, and i have lost 18. But he found it all...lol

And i do still love him and think he is sexy, but i worry, because his dad has diabetes from being over weight and i don't want that for him...not just for health purposes, but it would really affect our lives together. And yes, since his weight gain there has been less of a sex drive in him. SOooooooo i'm worried about that too. Because i need to get it regularly.

Thank you guys so much for all of your help!!!

I've been married for 7 years and have gained 25 lbs... I would say 25 in 12 months is quite a jump.

Having made a 25lb jump in a year (actually less: I went from 274 to 320 in about a year and a half), I'll tell you that it's perfectly doable without any medical conditions. It usually involves a lot of fatty, fried foods (in my case it was chicken wings dipped -- DRENCHED -- in the outrageously fatty blue cheese dressing) and, in my case, stress. Lots of it.

Nothin wrong with Wings and Blue Cheese ;)

Mine would have to be a combo of Beer, and her mothers cooking (bacon, salt pork, fried cabbage etc.)

he was always on the skinny side. but you know what....and even tho the weight gain is just from being lazy and laying in bed naked with me all night...lol i still think a physical would be a good idea, just to make sure his blood sugar/pressure, and cholesterol is not out of wack.

You only weigh 25 lbs?! </lame joke>

A white lie is a white lie.

well...we have implemented a lot of what you guys said and he has already lost 10 lbs! WOOT! And i have lost some weight too...which is cool. =)