Chixe

Yup. I am very close with my Mom and my relationship with her is my inspiration (and goal) to form with my kids.

For all of my life up until college, I wasn't that close with my dad because he just seemed to be the crabby dad that always said "no". As I grew more into an adult and he let me be my own man, I got a lot closer with him and our conversations were more meaningful because I could relate to him so much more.

As far as traits, I take some from each parent. I take my drive and motivation from my mom for sure. She's a successful business woman and I value it a ton and push to be that successful. So she's my main motivator.

I get my down to earth, laid back(ness) from my dad. He is the most chill parent I know, so I definitely see a lot of my dads personality in myself. I also get my love of music from my dad because I grew up listening to his records and now I love music.

My relationship with my Mum has greatly improved compared to those days when I was still in school. I used to be afraid of her because she brought my sister and I up very strictly. But as I grow up, I see my Mum more of a best friend than a parent.

I am no longer afraid of her because I don't have to ask her permission for most of the things that I do today, so I'm not worried that she would say "NO". But most importantly, she has become the person I want to grow up to be.

As for my father.. Let's just say that his leaving us more than a decade ago has made me who am I today. A better person, that is.

And our relationship today? Purely father-daughter relationship, with no strong feelings in between on my side, LOL.

Not really close to my parents.

I was an only latchkey child in a military family. Strict father, overprotective mother. Or at least strict and over protective when they were around in the first place, which when I was young, they rarely were. So I pretty much was babysat all the time by relatives and neighbours and trained myself to be independent at an early age.

It wasn't until I hit my teens that my parents started to pay more attention to me. By then really, I didn't like the way they wanted things done their way so there was a lot of bad blood in those years.

Don't get me wrong, as far as parental funding goes, I'm grateful that they were able to pay for my tuition fees as far as I'm going now. If it wasn't for them being the way they were, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Dysfunctional and disturbed yes but at least, not normal.

But as for the emotional bonds there...let's just say that I've learnt that blood isn't necessarily thicker than water and family isn't necessarily family just because you're blood related.

Probably why I've always searched for a place to belong. I don't even feel acknowledged even in my own family.

I'm really close to my mom; one could certainly say I grew up as a "mommy's boy", and, if we're being honest, I'd say that designation would still be correct.

My relationship with my dad was a bit more distant. I was his 5th son, and he was old enough to be my grandfather, so there were certainly some generational "issues" between us. In our interests, we were totally different, and so we often didn't do much together, something I regret a great deal now that he's gone (he died in '05). When I was younger, I thought he was much too hard on me, too much the "crabby father who always said no." Ironically, now that he's gone and I have a 3 year old, I feel I understand him a lot more; having a kid of my own has certainly altered my perceptions of parents, and some of the things he did which I hated - well, now I do them. I catch myself saying things all the time which he said; things which, at an earlier time in my life, I swore I'd never say to my kids.

Funny how things turn out like that.

I haven't talked to my parents and a couple of my older siblings since a mental and emotional episode I had that occurred almost 5 months ago, and that was a direct result of them. Not talking to my family members right now is the best possible thing for me as I am going through a healing process. Also, this is the best place I have ever been. It's as if the wool has been lifted from my eyes and the truth has been revealed to me--seriously. (I highly recommend therapy, by the way. But get a recommendation because there are a lot of bad therapists out there.)

They were the only parents I knew. It was the type of dysfunctional relationship and environment that was overbearing, isolating, manipulative and devoutly but falsely religious. I was not allowed to be my own person nor did they view me as an individual; instead, I was viewed as an extention of their own lives. Preferences I had, things that I did, they viewed as "wrong." I ended up lying and omitting things for the past 10 years (since I got outta the house and moved 2000 miles away for college) just to get them off my back, but the guilt had been ingrained and the damage had been done. I'm deprogramming now and have never felt so free in my life these 5 months.

They're human, though, and they're just broken people, too. They provided for me, though. Material needs and then some. They were good at that. Or, they used that as their ticket to control over me--giving but always expecting something back--a little of both.

I don't have kids of my own yet and I'm not saying that parenting is easy ... but a major lesson I'm taking away from this is a combination of how to do things but also how not to do things and can say with confidence that these are major things I am doing everything in my power to avoid doing to my own children.

We'll see where it goes from here.

I'm really close to my mom; one could certainly say I grew up as a "mommy's boy", and, if we're being honest, I'd say that designation would still be correct.

Me too.

My dad's a physicist and somewhat recent Orthodox Muslim convert (about 10 years ago or so...probably more). I get my name and my proclivity for Math and technology from him. My mom is much more...interesting. She's a biologist, but a diehard Christian. So she knows about evolution and the scientific claims supporting it...she just doesn't believe in it. (Don't ask me how.)

They're divorced now -- thankfully.

Hmm...I'm not sure I'm super close with either of my parents. Growing up, I just remember them each trying to one-up each other on their accomplishments. And growing up gifted/autistic in that kind of environment was a little off-putting. Now, I deal with them when I have spare time (and the cable Internet is off). I mean, I call and talk to them once in a while, but it's not like the world'll stop turning if I go a few months without talking to either of them. Luckily, they both subscribe to the notion that if I were really in some dire straits, I'd call them.

Until then, we can deal with each other on the major holidays and such.

Growing up I didn't really have strong relationships with either parent. My parents divorced when I was an infant and my dad moved out of state. My mother worked full time, and mostly nights, from the time I was 6-years-old. So, for the most part, my brother and I relied on my older sister to fill that parental role. Because of that, I'm probably much closer to my siblings than I would have been otherwise, but I don't have that strong motherly bond with my own mother.

As an adult, I've become much closer to my father. It's been easier to relate to him as an adult and as friends rather than the traditional father-son gig. I'm still not super close to my Mom, and I don't think I ever will be. We're just too different to find that common ground. But we're all relatively happy, so it's not like it's a gaping void or major problem in our lives.

I'm extremely close to my older brother, and that's probably directly related to the lack of a significant parental figure. We stuck together growing up, since we're just 2 years apart. To this day, he's my best friend (other than Brian obviously). I'm still very tight with my older sister also, though she lives in another city and stays insanely busy with work and her kids.

I am however extremely close to Brian's parents. From the day we met, we all just clicked. They accepted my very quickly and have always treated me like their own son. We have a really strong bond and a great relationship. I've often found myself going to them in situations where a normal person would go to their own parents, but I just don't have that connection with my own folks.

I've always been a pretty level-headed person, and I didn't need much guidance through my childhood really, so I didn't think that I needed the traditional parent-child relationship. Now, after having that with Brian's parents, I see what I was missing out on.

As a kid my relationship with my parents was nothing special... just one of those watchdog mothers and a dad who worked out of state building golf courses.

After I got into my 20's my relationship with my dad has gotten a LOT better, but my mom has remained a bit on the severely nosey/pushy side so we talk and see each other maybe 3-4 times a year.

I think I have the greatest parents in the world and a solid relationship with them.

If it were not for their trying to impose their wishes on me when I was choosing colleges, and a brief power play they tried to pull my sophomore year of college, when I was eighteen/nineteen and dating older than myself, I would say the relationship was perfect loving and supportive without smothering. ( those two episodes being the only time I ever felt they were trying to manipulate me)

It's my one living grandmother who is nosy pushy and endlessly annoying.

My mothers big fault was always trying to get me to dress in some kind of preppy nightmare conception of clothing; she always knew it was futile but she never stopped trying. It is now more of an amusing game between us.

I don't see my parents all that much because they do not live near me, and they both travel a lot for their work, but I talk at least once a week with at least one of them, if only to say hey I'm not dead, or ask what books they're reading.

I am close to my mother. She was a very strict parent and didn't like the way I did certain things, which caused very uncomfortable friction on occasion when I lived in the house still; but now that I have moved out, we have a much better and friendly relationship. It was likely good for her to see me do well in the world with my supposedly prone-to-fail heathen (read: non-Christian) ways. She means well, though, and I mean well for her, so it's worked out entirely. Since I'm overseas, we speak weekly, via phone, sometimes up to three hours.

My father...I don't wish to discuss so openly. I'll leave it at that.

In some things, I am like both my parents, because they were complete and utter opposites, so I happen to be lucky and fall into a (usually) balanced center. I think I am more like my great-grandparents, though, as they were important figures in my young life. I am also told that I am quite similar to my namesake, my great-great-grandmother, though I never met her. She apparently had a biting sense of humor and was very independent for women of the time. I hope I'm like that. :)

I come from a close-knit family, the relationships between my parents and the three girls were strong. It still is. My sisters don't live real close but I can always count on them. It's mutual. My folks were always and still are opposite type people; my mother created the coziness, my father the pragmatism. They modeled respect for each other and would hold hands while the three of us tagged after them shopping. They have some medical problems now and I try and secondarily care for my mum. The three girls (my sisters and I) chose different lifestyles, religions and careers. We are different and friends.