Chixe

I think that depends on what your needs are. If you need to go out with your girls and be left alone, if the guy does that then he's fulfilling a need indirectly ;)

Whoever said being single was bad in the first place?

It's all relative. Some people need someone. Other people (Scrivs) can enjoy the single life. I know a girl or two that, if they had things their way, their man would be there 25/7. It's gross, really.

I'm with Scrivs. I've got to have my independence.

Is there a handbook that can teach a girl how to be single? If there is, I need it. Bad!

In my personal experience, those who survive best on their own are those who are confident about themselves, both physically and mentally.

If you think about it, those kinds of people tend to have very active social lives which kind of compensates.

Once you've been in a relationship for a long time, it's very difficult to go back to being single. Relationships affect the way you see the world, you start to think in 'we' instead of 'I' . Being single and feeling lonely is one of the hardest things in life, I've been there and it was painful.

I'm single and I love it. I have so time to do all my projects, volunteer, learn new stuff .... I think of this time without a significant other as a blessing and an opportunity to give all I can back to the world - before I get distracted by my 'boy' complaining about how much time I spend on the internet, wanting me to cook, trying to be all in my business ...

I have times when I am very social and the flip side when I want some alone time. I'm telling ya, being a geek girl - it's tough to find a man that doesn't:

1) Complain about how much time I spend playing video games.
2) Think I'm up to something when I say they should go hang out with the guys.
3) Really think I'm up to something if I say I could care less if he goes to the club.
4) If there is one steak left in the fridge, and I cooked that steak, don't touch it.

It's rough, seriously.

Tyme, you sound like my girlfriend. But I don't cramp her style though since she's a free spirit of a bird. I say give her all the freedom that she wants because at the end of it, as much as other guys might pan after her, as much as she may flirt and as much as she gives a loud burp after she finishes all the food I've cooked for her. I have a great time with her end of the day. That's what really matters.

I think the rule here is this, and I learnt it after my last bad breakup. If I can't find a reason to make myself happy, I don't think I can make other people happy...especially not in a relationship.

Being single rocks my socks. (Except the sleeping alone bit... that sucks.) But other than that, there's much freedom and joy to be had in being responsible to no one. It's nice to just be you, and not a you + 1. At least, that's my feeling in the matter.

WORD

Speak it ErinR.

I'm almost too frickin' good at being single. Can someone be *too* independent?

Both sides have its benefits that's for sure. Being one status for too long can get tiresome though so it's always good to mix it up.

"Both sides have its benefits that's for sure. Being one status for too long can get tiresome though so it's always good to mix it up."

That kills the argument for marriage...

There is always a right time for everything :-)

(I'm lucky, I have my Mr L taking care of my needs 24/7 and it WORKS brilliantly, but face it, how many are that lucky?)

Not many Mrs. L...you're a lucky girl. :)

Being single is wonderful for a certain amount of time...i've only been divorced for a year and I freakin love it! But I know I dont want to do it forever.....:)

I'm with Mrs. L.
I'm one of the lucky ones too.

Everyone's different.
I love being married. And I think if my husband wasn't, we'd be divorced by now! 8 years married and going strong!

;-)

I believe everyone needs to have their own time by themselves though~*

I'm just getting used to being single. Though, being with someone... the companionship is what I miss the most.

Being single is also nice, because drama is on a down low. At least, it should be like that in an ideal world.

I'd still rather be NOT single.

I agree with you darkmotion on that one.

I think that both statuses -- single and coupled -- are great. I loved being single when I was single and, in fact, didn't wish to be otherwise. I loved that I could be a bit selfish, that I didn't have to worry about my decisions affecting two people, that I was able to find myself, and all that other wonderful stuff that comes with being unattached. It was great. Now I'm coupled, and that's great, too.

I really do think that there are pros and cons to both and that it's best to just search for the silver lining(s) of whichever status you happen to be enjoying at the moment. At least, that's what I try to do.

Being single is excellent. Being married is also excellent. :-)

It depends entirely on who you're with though, doesn't it?

My fiancee was my best friend before we starting dating and still is. I say that without an ounce of exaggeration. I know I'm young (21) but I have a good feeling about us. Wouldn't be marrying him if I didn't. So in my case, being in a relationship is great.

However, I agree with that article completely. You have to provide all those basic things for yourself. Another person can't make you feel valued 100% the time. It's just human imperfection. Dating without having those issues in order can only weaken a relationship.

Erin is right - being able to be entirely selfish is one of the great things about being single. You can eat what you want, when you want it - eat the last steak, as Tyme says, go to bed when you want. Be hungover when you want.

Most of the time I'm really happy being single - and I have a group of fantastic friends who I enjoy spending time with, laughing with and who support me through the various trials and rough patches of life.

What I miss, and what I'm looking for (which is not to say that other people don't see this differently or that I'm right or whatever) is a team-mate. Someone who knows by looking at me that I'm about to crack up into laughter. Someone who supports my ventures. Someone who gets my family and my friends. Someone who likes it when we go out and have fun together - be that a bike ride, a night on the town or simply sitting in the park looking at the sky and chatting.

It's a special bond that I miss. Knowing that they want to be with you and you with them. You still have your friends and your time with friends - ABSOLUTELY - but you know you're going home to them and you feel delighted that you are. Me time is important, sure, but you can have that within a balanced relationship.

Well. That's what I hope to find anyway. If not...
there's always this great poem as inspiration
http://www.cswnet.com/~erin/child.htm#ifnoone

Being single is all fine and dandy, except when it's late, late at night and I can't sleep and just want someone there to hold (or hold me).

I'm selfish, I like my independence, and like being single, like not having to share pieces of myself with anyone. I like myself, like my life, like my home, my privacy, and like my autonomy.

I am alone, but not lonely. There is a major difference between being "alone" and "lonely".

I can't stand the thought of a man being around 24/7. For me it is, and was, too restricting. I need my private time to just read, write, take photographs, and pursue my interests. Sometimes my private time is spent doing nothing, by choice.

I lived alone, for several years, before I married. I was not lonely. It is individual choice. I have been married, and now I am no longer married, and would never consider marrying again.

I am selfish, and there is nothing wrong with that.

What nightmarish relationships have people had where they think that being in one means your superglued to your partner whenever you're not at work?!

Being single is excellent. Being married is also excellent. :-)

What about everything in-between? If people are happy, it's all groovy.

@Oli: Exactly! We all do what makes us happy and that's different for everyone.

I live alone, and I love it. I love that I can have my computers strewn around my apartment and no one is here to yell at me about it. I love to tinker, and live in a deconstructed state most of the time. And it's great, after living with 3 other people in college, then one the year after to finally live on my own (with my guinea pig) and stay up gaming until 7am if I choose to (like I did last night). LOL

Being a couple can be nice, but so can being alone. And to reiterate what was said before, there is a big difference between alone and lonely.

I miss being able to do whatever I want without letting anyone know if I would be back for dinner. Then again, Sam and I spent twenty minutes last night cracking up over my ridiculous tooth-whitening mouth guards. I can make the best silly faces.

There's something to be said for the freedom of one state and the comfort of another. And no matter which state you're in, friends are still extraordinarily important.

lonely and alone, age 20, lots of friends all over the world, stuck in paradise, broke. looking for ....

wait, this isn't the personals section....

I think [EDITED BY PUBLICIST].

It's good to see sane people still exist.

So often I've seen girls come out of relationships and start looking for someone else right away, I started to think that was how the majority thought. I'm still not sure.

I used to hate being single, but now that I'm single again I'm suddenly loving it. Sometimes it seems like the best purpose a relationship can serve is to demonstrate how single can be fabulous...

After many years, I really do miss a partner knowing how my day went by just watching me walk in through the door. Everthing else about singlehood, I still love very much.

Whoa Sarah what the hell happened to your plans to get married?

What about "No woman can fulfill a mans needs"? Let me tell you, this ain't some one way street.

Regardless of that, i've been single for over two years now and i can safely say i've gotten those three things covered -- but both rushing AND slowly plodding around, hoping to meet someone... have failed me. Miserably.

I don't know if I like being single, but I am pretty sure being single is way better than hanging out with someone just for not being single.

way back up at Scrivs:

Both sides have its benefits that's for sure. Being one status for too long can get tiresome though so it's always good to mix it up.

Wonderfully interesting. I've always found myself in really great relationships that I wanted to be in very much, but also wanted to have some time to be single. Of course, "let's see other people for awhile" doesn't float in my boat so it was basically like break up or don't, pick which life you're going to want to have.

Picking the "break up" option always sucked, especially when you throw yourself back into being single and don't know how to do it. But then you get good at it and you find someone you really dig and before you know it, back to Couplesland, PA.

I just realised. The answer for this post is exactly one year old to date. :)

Happy Anniversary Post.

I say being single beats the alternative at this point in time.

What is the best way to cope being single...I hate it.

Have plenty of friends. People usually hate being single because they feel lonely and they need people to connect to.

If you can't connect completely with one person. Spread that out with many people. The additional bonus is, the more people you know, the more likely you can meet someone you might actually want to go out with.

Take up a new hobby where a lot of girls go. One of my friends joined a pottery-making class and he's the only guy there. ;)

My friends call me Martha Vila... For a guy, I am pretty domesticated and being an engineer by trait...can fix and make anything. I have other hobbies like, reading, photograph, knitting, and on and on. I still hate being single and feeling alone. I really thinking something is wrong with me. Where are some other areas that I can meet some girls that are easy going, fun, attractive and plain nice...no games because I am want to play games!