Chixe

I have dated a guy that I asked out. Others have fallen somewhere in between, as in we both just sort of decided to date. The guy I am with now asked me out. So, really, it just depends on the situation and what feels right for both people involved.

One thing I will say, however, is that I have found--from my own experience, so take that for whatever it's worth--that the more confident guys out there want to ask girls out, and those who have trouble doing so are less secure with themselves and with you. Frankly, insecurity doesn't cut it for me these days.

But, again, it all depends on the situation.

P.S. - This feels like spam.

Yeah I'm not too sure on this one either, lelia, but I'll give it a shot too. ;)

I actually haven't really seriously dated a guy I've had to ask out. I have asked a guy out but he took too long deciding that he liked me too, that when he finally decided he did I lost interest. It just took too long and since that was clearly indicative of his low confidence level (vs. shyness, for example) that just about did it for me. Then again, that was in college (see "Do Guys Like Girls Who Play Hard To Get?" thread) and I believe I saw him in passing fairly often and he was a friend of a friend.

That stuff just doesn't happen anymore unless he's your coworker. And I'm not all for dating coworkers--especially since I've worked at my place of business for awhile and there's low turnaround here and I'm pretty sure when there's no one I want to date.

So it goes with that if a guy doesn't ask you out soon enough he wasn't interested enough because he was leaving it up to chance that he might never see you again.

It's always on a case-by-case basis, though. Guys never "have to" ask a girl out but if he wants it enough he knows what he has to do to get it.

Mmm, spam.

lelia: you're definitely right, the whole confidence issue can be a big thing. One of the problems is that there is typically a suitable range of confidence that if you stray too far in either direction (either cocky or shy) it can be detrimental.

mmm... what u guys said makes sense... but not many people agrees on it.. to me, frankly, believe that if a guy is interested etc etc he should definitely be the one to chat her up. =)

ps. leliathomas - don't worry.. its not spam.. =D

I take it that Jia's a Malaysian. Kenny Sia is big in Malaysia, and I suppose his post on asking girls out has many Malaysians thinking (oh gosh! a first!).

Here's my take: no.From a personal point of view I'd rather it be me asking a girl (no matter how scared I am) rather than she taking the initiative. Hey, if I like her, and I want to know her better, it wouldn't make sense to just sit around and wait for her to drop from the sky, now, would it?

Hey, if I like her, and I want to know her better, it wouldn't make sense to just sit around and wait for her to drop from the sky, now, would it?

This applies to when a girl likes you too.

I actually had a girl tell me she liked me but if it werent because I talked to her first, then she never would have. What an idiot.

-> shadowsun7... hmmm... seems like u know some things about malaysia huh.. =D and great thinking.. =) i've always thought about this, but it so happens that when i was just about to post it, i saw kenny's.. so.. LoL

-> vidar... but u talked to her first right? some girls could be really shy u noe.. =D

She was as outgoing as can be, I dont know what her problem was but she was definitely not shy.
I asked "What if I hadnt talked to you? Would you have missed out on being with someone you like or would you have done something about it?"
"Miss out." She said without batting an eyelash. Idiot.

If you like someone, you go and talk to them. I'm ridiculously shy and I still do it so everyone else has no excuse really.

LoL.. things like that could backfire u noe... =D trust me on that... peer pressure sucks during times like this.. =D

Jia: I'm Malaysian myself. Been following Kenny ever since he broke into popularity there. He's no longer as funny, but I'm still as loyal as hell.

Vidar: Love your line:

If you like someone, you go and talk to them. I'm ridiculously shy and I still do it so everyone else has no excuse really.

It's funny, but I find that when I'm around a girl I like I have to fight this urge to act aloof. And I'm not as talkative. Urgh.

Who the heck is Kenny Sia?

Blogger celebrity. Malaysian blogosphere. He used to be very funny, but now he's toned down coz apparently teachers recommend their students to read his blog.

He rocks because he focuses on the lighter side of Malaysian life.

shadowsun7 -> i don't really keep track of Kenny Sia. so.. hahahah... me seeing the post was totally accidental... =D

guys shouldn't act aloof.. its good u're fighting it! LoL

shadowsun7 -> i don't really keep track of Kenny Sia. so.. hahahah... me seeing the post was totally accidental... =D

guys shouldn't act aloof.. its good u're fighting it! LoL

shadowsun7 -> i don't really keep track of Kenny Sia. so.. hahahah... me seeing the post was totally accidental... =D

guys shouldn't act aloof.. its good u're fighting it! LoL

No he doesn't. Kennysia is one of those people who has resulted in writing for an audience to try and keep the audience there. I knew him before and after his popularity and I can tell you that his writing style and whatever controversial writing that he pops up has changed dramatically from himself to the audience over the years.

The good thing is that he's good at holding people's attention and that's what keep people going. Doesn't mean whatever he writes makes sense.

Back to the question though, in my experience, I have only asked for a girls number once. But have been asked for my number by girls and have them give me their number without me asking.

Truthfully, if you don't care about it, it really doesn't matter. The only reason why it does matter is the social and cultural stigma placed on it. Since this matter I'm assuming revolves around Malaysian life, I also assume it's part traditional viewpoint that men do all the first moves while women just sit back and expect to look pretty in hopes of snagging a guy.

It ticks me off that things like that still exist today. Why can't people just go out and do something because they want to?

So being turned down is normal, but then again, if you were suddenly approached by someone you don't really know who asked for your number, wouldn't you be more likely to turn them down as well? I can tell you that the girls who gave me their number, it wasn't because they were total strangers. We at least had a decent conversation before hand. That always works.

omg.. can't i delete what i post?

Kami: he doesn't make sense, and that's exactly the lighter side of Malaysian life (why else do so many people read xiaxue? Mindless drivel most of it, but at least he's nice). It's a welcome break from reading Jeff Ooi and Malik Imtiaz, who are often so cynical and thought provoking your brain spontaneously combusts.

hahaha.. i think the discussion is going waaay off the topic.. =)