Chixe

Women believe me because I dont tell them crap. I cut to the chase, am a straight shooter, all that jazz.
Does it ever work? Not as much as it should. This leads me to believe that women want to be lied to, but I think that's too fucked up, even for them.

Well that just means there is nothing to believe. Or do you mean you don't feed them crap? And this is for the ladies Vidar, unless you are positive somehow that all women believe you no matter what.

Hell you edited your response while I was typing mine. Sneaky, sneaky.

Maybe women want to hear the truth that they can believe. That's deep.

Yeah, I realized the unintended double meaning the moment I clicked Post.

So do you want to fabricate your truth a little bit to get more of them to believe you?

At every stage of a relationship it's like a different round of bullshit. We put up with it because we know we're helpless to stop it. My boyfriend is full of crap at least 75% of the time. He knows it, too.

I just interpret everything he says as the opposite of what's going to happen. I put up with it a) because it's harmless and b) because if I got pissed every time he did something dumb, I'd be a very angry woman.

Me: "Please don't stay out too late" when he goes out with his buddies.
Him: "I won't, promise."
Then at 3 am he comes home making all sorts of commotion, waking up the cat, etc.

Me: "Will you tidy up the house a little while I'm at work?"
Him: "Sure."
I come home and he's hasn't done a thing but nap on the couch and watch TV.

I just chalk it up to the fact that I'll never understand why he does what he does, just like there are things about me he'll never comprehend.

If you're talking about bigger lies (not the "I'll be home early" type, as jensized detailed), I think a lot of women believe in the infinite potential of their crush/boyfriend/life partner. When they hear something that sounds too good to be true, they want to believe that, at the very least, their man wants life to be like that. That's why they put up with it. I also think this is much more common among younger/women with less relationship experience -- I used to put up with this crap, but wouldn't any longer.

When it's a lie like "I love you" or "I see this lasting a long time," yeah, that's a pretty big deal and guys that do that generally are snakes.

On the same token girls who can't detect that kind of lie are either delusional or naive.

I mentioned the "different round of bullshit" thing because I know in the beginning of my own relationship I kind of structured my own truth about some things, but after a while and after you know somebody better it's a lot harder to keep things out of the open. My boyfriend copes with that by lying about dumb shit.

Women, why do you believe us men so often when many times (unfortunately) we are probably feeding you nonsense that in a normal setting with a person you aren't interested in you would see it for what it is?

LMAO I read what you wrote and made the following translations (while reading):

"we are probably feeding you nonsense" = bullshit
"why do you believe us men" = trust
"in a normal setting with a person you aren't interested in" = someone she doesn't give a shit about

The question becomes:

Women, why do you [trust] us men so often when many times (unfortunately) [we're bullshitting you], which [if you didn't give a shit about us] you would see it for what it is?

Then the answer is very clear - the fact she cares seals her doom. Guys do it too. *shrugs But doesn't everyone have a person in their past where you wonder what the hell you were thinking/why you liked the person/thought what you thought/fell for the bull? Hopefully there is only one.

@jensized:

I mentioned the "different round of bullshit" thing because I know in the beginning of my own relationship I kind of structured my own truth about some things, but after a while and after you know somebody better it's a lot harder to keep things out of the open. My boyfriend copes with that by lying about dumb shit.

Had a giggle fit on that one but then I thought about it for awhile. That's what happened to me and instead of lying about dumb shit I started to turn off - sort of like the beginning to the end. Looking back, I'd probably do things different but the relationships would most likely had the same result.

I don't really understand the question at all. Or maybe you just are used to different kind of female that I am used to hanging around.

Fools is what I would call them, if you are talking about woman who for some reason believe men they are interested in. Where I come from there is no such rule.

So do you want to fabricate your truth a little bit to get more of them to believe you?

Hell no.

A lot of women want to believe that the men who tell them this are good people especially when they are in love with them. It's the for better or for worse concept where you always want to see the best in that person and let all the bad parts slide.

While it's true that this affects women that have no prior relationship experience or are just too immature to handle a relationship, sometimes even women who know how to deal with a relationship properly will let small bullshit off. I mean, as long as both of you know that it's bullshit, there is no reason to make a big fuss about it.

In retrospect, the women I've stuck with are women can smell a lie coming from a mile away. I sometimes say things that my girlfriend knows to be a complete lie and I know she knows (Yup, just one more thing to do on the computer before I join you in bed. Next thing you know, it's 3am and whoops.). But she let's it go because it really doesn't matter one way or another. As long as the big lies aren't told, you can always roll your eyes if you both know it's a small white lie.

That is, if you know.

I know what Scrivs is talking about and it's okay as long as it's done in a non malicious fashion. My simple answer is that men like us aren't supposed to be 100% factual or truthful. Just entertainment. It's what we men are.

Remember folks, it is not what you say but rather how you say it.

@ KAMI
A lot of women want to believe that the men who tell them this are good people especially when they are in love with them

What I really do not understand is wouldn't someone know already if someone were a good and decent person before they became in love with them?

The question assumes that woman are all idiots, falling randomly in love or whatever with some irresistible player, not having the sense they were born with.

I don't see most woman as doing that, but then again as a woman I have may have more respect for woman.

you always want to see the best in that person and let all the bad parts slide.

That's one messed up relationship to be in.

But doesn't everyone have a person in their past where you wonder what the hell you were thinking/why you liked the person/thought what you thought/fell for the bull? Hopefully there is only one.

Oh god, Tyme. *raises hand*

So yeah, ideally we would be as cooper wonders why we aren't (does that make sense?) in that we would know a person before falling in love with the guy but from personal experience things just don't fall into line or order like that, especially when you're a stupid young 'un. Certainly I am not an idiot--just as all women aren't addressed by Scrivs here because we all don't exhibit this sort of behavior (either we don't anymore or never have)--but I wouldn't say that all my past relationships were flawless.

I have two boyfriends who, when I've thought of them, I've smacked my forehead up with the palm of my hand thinking, "What the hell was I thinking?" All the BS they talked was amusing and/or infuriating. But I can tell I'm just not into that sort of thing anymore and when those lines come out it's a matter of how seriously the guy takes himself. I think I have a pretty good gauge as to how much they really believe their own BS or if they're just having fun. And hey I'll admit it--I BS sometimes too but I know where the line is and I know which battles to fight and which others to let slide.

Bottom line is, if I'm not interested in either you or anything you have to say, nothing coming from you is interesting. Case closed. If you're still in your window where I'm finding whether I'm interested or not (or you've already crossed that threshold and you're ok in my book) then that's where the "nonsense" kind of slides. :) For the time being, anyway. If I've already decided you're not worth my low threshold for patience then I just kinda tune out and try to extract myself from the sitch.

Some women just have longer (better?) attention spans than others. Whether that's a result of having a better, more discerning filter (talent or experience?) ... being a person graced with more humility or patience ... everyone's got a different story.

@Cooper: How many times have you heard that someone isn't who they are after they started dating them? Or how many times have you heard why good women fall for bad boys? It's not just about whether women are idiots or not. It's just a totally rational choice being thrown out of whack because of love.

How many of us do stupid things for the sake of what we believe to be love?

I think believing in the best in someone is the least of the faults here. Just that it also lets lies slip by, which can grow to be a bad thing if left unchecked.

What! You were lying when you said my eyes burned through to your soul, my lips were like honied sweets, my skin was like alabaster? And you mean I'm really not the first woman who ever rocked your world in quite that way? Tell me that thing you said about how I am as cool as your male friends, and much more fun was actually a big fat fib! And I am not even going to think back on the praise you lavished on my butt.

I'm shocked, shocked, to learn that you said those things just to get me to sleep with you.

Oh, you want to know if I ever lie to you? Well... yes. It is not actually the case that you make me quiver every time I see you. Occasionally, I want to run, because you haven't taken a shower for a few days. And no, I don't think yours is the biggest in the world. It isn't teensy, but it's not as impressive as I might have suggested. As for football, no, in fact, I do not think it is the best way to spend a Sunday. And your car? It isn't actually as cool as you think it is. But at least I got you to give me those really great diamond earrings before I dumped you for the guy in the BMW.

*giving bloglily 100pts because that response was priceless*

You see though bloglily that's the rub. Many times when we say things like that I do think we mean them at the moment, however if things don't end up well we look back and feel that those words were all garbage which isn't the case. And don't think I'm just going to leave this to the women feeling cheated by the men...oh no...I got another Note coming for the guys.

Scrivs, I know what you mean; the things you say when you're in the heat of the moment DO actually seem true. And, honestly, were you to ask me if I wished men didn't do that with women, I'd say no. I love a good, passionate line -- I know its truth is possibly temporary, and I know not to believe it wholeheartedly, but it's still fun to be around men who're good with words.

And Tyme, it sounds like you and I know some of the same guys!

From what I recall Tyme doesn't like those men, they are called "charmers" right? Yet all men, even the ones you end up liking are charmers, how do you think they got you in the first place. Sure you don't want to believe it, but that's how it all works. Some charms work, while others don't.

@bloglily: Perfect answer.

And don't think I'm just going to leave this to the women feeling cheated by the men

We're entirely willing participants, really. ;)

I'm still laughing at bloglily's usage of "lips like honied sweets."

Yeah I'm gonna have to put my own spin on that line. Of course I might need an orchestra playing in the background when I say such things.

@Cooper: How many times have you heard that someone isn't who they are after they started dating them?

@Kami
Me, only once but I never was enamored nor did I ever believe everything that person said. All that "you're beautiful" talk is disregarded as it is usually bullshit, and anyone with sense knows it. I guess I am just not of the same world as you kami, there is really nothing that could bowl me over enough to believe all those lines and I don't fall in love easily, lust is not the same as love and being attracted to someone even liking them quite a bit does not ever tend to make lines of any kind believable.

Little stuff like lies told unintentionally about liking a certain genre of film or things like that matter very little and are not significant.

I don't really fall for lines. In fact, they usually just make me laugh in the other person's face, because they're utterly cliche. When people make promises or say certain things, I tend to reply with, "Oh, that's nice. It'll be good when you do that." I don't tend to believe much that's said until I have seen much done accordingly.

This sorta reminds me of something that I saw on College Humor. Back on the subject. Ya know I think a lot of the women in this forum can really relate to situations like this but I am guessing that a lot of men here can attest to being the "one she's not interested in so she will see through your lie" sort of thing.

Anyway enjoy the video.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1754914

Let me also say this. The best of us make mistakes. Some of the coolest people I know fall for shit like "what Scrivs said" numerous amounts of time. That doesn't make them bad people. In my experience it is better to let them learn their lesson.

People think that lines are just a matter of opening words put together for something as good as a night. Some people take it further have have words interwoven to mask their actions and themselves effectively giving a dual personality, one that shows up a while after the relationship has started.

I say this because I go after the women who don't "bowl over" easily. The ice queens, the ones that every guy just can't win over because they closed their heart so tight, normal circumstances just can't get them to say yes.

So I can say that there isn't any woman that won't open up to me. Even if these are mere words and there is nothing I can do to prove it. We'll just leave it as that. I might not be good with cool one liners or giving the best first impression. But I will give the right impression because it's about keeping the moment, not having one that starts with a bang.

It's something I invest in a long time to get people to open up, but because I am who I am as a person who is sincere in his actions to care for another, I also hide a part of me that is ugly. You can't love someone so deeply until you know the sides of them they keep from public eye because everyone has that.

You take that to an extreme context of women who's partners are nice on the outside but abusive on the inside and you see what I mean about dual personalities. But that's an extreme case. You still get the idea.

... and THIS is one of the many reasons I am glad I am a lesbian.

So you're saying lesbians always have no nonsense relationships?

Re: heat of the moment.
I don't like to say things in the heat of the moment (i may do things, but never say things) because I know them to be completely untrue and there's something about it that just doesn't feel right to me. I'll only say a cheeky line or a lie like that if it's obvious to both of us that I'm saying it just for shits and giggles, but not otherwise.

I also don't tell the girls I date they rocks my world if they don't, or things like that.

This whole situation kinda reminds me of george screaming "I'm giving you a raise!"