Chixe

When my best buddy Mark was dating a complete psychopath of a girlfriend, I had no qualms about letting him know it. As far as I'm concerned, that's your job as a good friend. However, your friend still needs to believe it's a mistake in their mind and heart. My buddy may have been dating a psycho, but it still took more than a year for him to admit I was right.

Over the years, I've learnt one thing. Speak your mind, but be there regardless. Even if you don't like the people they are with, it's all the more reason you should be with them when the chips are down.

There is a fine line between meddling and being a friend and the thing is to never ever think that your friend needs help unless they ask. The best we can do is speak our minds and let them make the choices (good or bad) for themselves.

If we're right, ultimately, we're going to be there for them and that's what matters. If we're not, well...live and let die and remember, there is nothing wrong with seeing a friend happy, even if we hate the other person to bits.

Yeah it definitely is your job to let him know. Sometimes you can get caught up in stuff and not even know that you are doing something wrong, and a takes a real friend to correct you.

Michael depending on your friends age I would say 1. give him your opinion but be gentle, express your concern but leave it at that. and 2. of course, be there for him when he falls...and please, never say I told you so, thats the worst....good luck.

Mmm this actually isn't specifically aimed at one situation nor is it necessarily related to dating crazy women. Let's just say that college is full of drama.

You see I'm the kind of person who worries about the long term effects. On the flip side I don't like to see people suffer. It's tough because you want to believe that they can figure things out for themselves but that's not always the case.

btw thanks for the advice guys!

Let's just say that college is full of drama.

I wouldn't say it's full of drama, but I damn sure had my fair share of it. You live and you learn and though no one likes drama (I hope), it sure is a good learning experience. But you have to take the good with the bad. Life isn't perfect!

Difficult one to answer.

Usually, I would find some diplomatic way to tell someone that he might be on the wrong course. I've done it often enough and I would expect my friends to do the same ... which they have.

Still, there are situations in which that is not possible, depending on someone's character (I know people who do not take that kind of "advice" well) or on the situation itself.

Example: If you are a teacher and can see that your friends are making a serious mistake in the upbringing of their kids, do you tell them? That is one area which is so touchy that I have yet to go there, although I at times feel I have to. Very difficult.

There are other situations. What about a friend who is completely blinded by love and you know for a fact that the relationship is doomed to fail (you're privy to information your friend doesn't have)?

Worst case scenario I encountered a little while ago: What about a friend who thinks he's doing a stellar job and you know for a fact that most people around him including the boss would phrase it the opposite way? Someone's that really enthusiastic about what he/she is doing and it might be your job to clobber him/her over the head before other people will?

And so on.

My motto: Life sucks, and then you die. ;)

Stefani says it best.

Be truthful, but don't force your opinion.

Unfortunately, drama doesnt end in college....

Wow this is a popular topic. What surprises me most about this is that we may get older but our problems remain the same.

There's probably more drama in college, due to a much wider circle of (supposed) friends.

After college however, when friendships are much closer and more important, the drama might be less frequent but at the same time much more intense – cue divorce, marriage, funerals, hiring and firing, debtors, mortgages etc. etc.

Ah the joys.

You can't really be nice in something like this. You're friends and friends do deserve to heard the blunt truth when they need to. The thing that's really important is what you do AFTER you give the blunt truth.

Some get angry and don't hang out on principle. But its always best to keep going keeping whatever you said between both of you. Your friend would eventually understand that you're expression of concern wouldn't affect your friendship at all. It's just something that needed to be said. The rest of your friend's life, whether he or she listens or not, is in their hands. The best you can do is stand by it.

One of the best things my father ever taught me was this: the only time you give advice is (1) when someone asks for it or (2) in an emergency (as in, move, buddy, or you're going to be run over by that truck.)

it is very hard to watch someone make what you think is a mistake. But a person who is determined to make a mistake and has not asked you for your advice is going to do it regardless of what you say because there is something about the direction they're headed that's calling them toward it. And that is because they most likely will have to do this wrong thing to figure something important out about life.

it's not bad to make mistakes, even terrible ones. It's what we do when we realize we've gone wrong that counts. That said, if being around this person who's headed wrong is bringing you down, then you might have to give the friendship a rest for a while.

B. Because the only way you can truly learn is to experience it yourself.