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Unconventional strategies during a break up
Written By dreaming_awake on Dec. 29, 2007.
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Last summer I broke up. Someone who I thought was perfect when it started. And later it was all downhill on a never ending hill only to find myself falling flat on my face. Many of us have been there. It eventually heals over time though you might never forget her. Some ways to get over it, as some friends advised are:
-to keep oneself occupied doing activities one loves
-convince yourself that she ain't important
-become "mature"(I feel that's being hypocritic)
-think of it as a lesson learnt
-move on
In my instance I tried to think that so many breakups happen in this world daily(unfortunately) and if I also started crying about it then I am just "another-one-of-those" people out there. This is a rather noir viewpoint of life. I am a human after all. But, on my quest to be "unique", this did help somewhat. Sounds rather childish. :) My ex did say I am immature. But then I don't wanna rant about how she was wrong. She did what she had to and is probably right from her own viewpoint.
Anyway, the point being, what steps(hopefully something non-stereotype) have you people out there taken to get yourself "over it"?
P.S.: I know there has been another post about how to get over a breakup. The explanations were somewhat general. But this time I am asking what kind of daily activities and unconventional mindsets helped you.
missginsu
Written Dec. 29, 2007 / Report /
I swear by hitting the gym. Gives the brain a much-needed endorphin boost, gives you something else to focus that wild post-breakup energy on and by the time you're feeling really over the breakup, you're looking fine.
costanzo
Written Jan. 9, 2008 / Report /
Totally agree with missginsu. The gym is the best solution and there might a few hotties there too
estarla
Written Jan. 9, 2008 / Report /
Haha, I started training for a Marathon not with this latest breakup but the one before that. :) It was definitely the most acrimonious, so as far as letting out the frustration that's what I'd zone in on while I went on my runs. It's great thinking time while letting it all out...
Vidar
Written Jan. 9, 2008 / Report /
as long as you didnt do it over a text message...
estarla
Written Jan. 9, 2008 / Report /
Or a post-it (for you Sex and the City fans...any?)
cooper
Written Jan. 10, 2008 / Report /
I've never been vested enough to have to employ any kind of strategy. Usually the relief is palpable, so I just go with it.
Kamigoroshi
Written Jan. 10, 2008 / Report /
Truthfully?
I never had any steps. It usually is a walk in the dark. The last breakup I had, had me in an almost constant state of depression for a good 18 months. The only thing I could do was just keep moving forward, keep doing things that took my mind off things. As long as I kept myself busy, I didn't have to think about the pain and the loss (because the relationship was complicated and the breakup was even more so).
So what did I get out of it?
I mastered the rubik's cube. I now know how to code my own blog. I started drinking for the first time. I met great people. I learnt how to close my heart and I learnt how to stand on my own two feet better.
I think I'll still be heartbroken if the same things were to repeat themselves, but...I guess some part of me is dead. I can move on easier.
dreaming_awake
Written Jan. 13, 2008 / Report /
@missginsu
The gym is actually working out(forgive the pun)! After the break up I had been neglecting my health quite a bit. As costanzo says, maybe toning up the body might help in reeling in some chicks. :P Nice idea...
@Kamigoroshi
That is, and understandably so, the most effective way to get-out-of-it. It's basically continuing on with our normal lives and accepting life as it is. In my case, a negative thought kept creeping in my head whenever I tried to do things that I loved. All the things that I liked had been so entwined with her that everything seemed worthless. As if there is no point in carrying on cuz the most important person to appreciate it is not around anymore.
But I got over this in first few weeks. Found some folks that were so like me and started spending my time with them. And rest of the story is quite similar to yours(learning, reinforcing, maturing, etc.).
But, despite all my advancements, those thoughts still hit home sometimes. And hence my noir viewpoint and other unconventional strategies.