Chixe

I'll answer if you do.

Don't give up on your dreams.

Thank you.

I told you that was the last time I'd see you, you asshole! :D

I'm sorry. It wouldn't have worked between us, but we didn't deserve this kind of ending.

do restraining orders expire? lol

seriously though...do they?

no, really, I've run into quite a few here and there over time, and it's in some cases a lot like running into an old best friend to...hi, how're you, etc...small talk, b/s in my book...

I personally never seek out any of my old flames...as I'm not sure if restraining orders expire or not...(j/k) Honestly, what is there, could there really be to say...

-t

First loves?

"You know we'd make better best friends than we do as lovers right?"

i'm sorry we didn't end this sooner. Thanks for the sex.

kiss me good bye, wait let me bear my checks for you.

you should probably consider playing with some recreational drugs; it might cure that lying problem you have.

I'd probably just say "sorry."

It's not that I'd done anything terribly wrong. I only had two really serious relationships (before I got married). With both of them it seemed like an emotional mess. Neither ended happily, but neither ended with hurt feelings or because something really bad happened. But for some reason I always feel regret--like I lost some really good friends.

@dbme, I know exactly what you mean...I developed a very close friendship with my first love- I think mainly because we shared a connection that was new to both our hearts and it was all very intense and overwhelming. I think back then it was hard to establish a solid thought process about why we felt the way we did. It was more of just living every day for what it was without carrying those worries and fears that we have nowadays about giving up too much of ourselves for the chance of being hurt in the end. When you put all of yourself out there for someone, there's a level of trust that has to come with it from both parties in order to make that possible, and it creates a bond that becomes really hard to let go of when it's really just time... to let go. Years after my first love and I split, he got into a long term relationship and ended up marrying that same girl- what once became a still very innocent friendship seemed wrong and intrusive to our present lives. i don't think we outgrew eachother, I think life ended up outgrowing us, and it was no longer proper to remain friends because it would have hindered our ability to move on. So it's been about five or so years since we've spoken. His mother and I still talk now and again because we've remained friends over the years, but I don't ask about him. The best you can do, and I guess what I would say to MY first love if I had the chance again would be, "You gave me my first taste of love, thank you. I wish you the happiest, most fulfilling life your heart can stand."

Actually I just edited this to give a more honest answer.

I achieved a little catharsis some years ago by writing this:

"And now you've left me.
Do you think I could give a flying toss?
Do you think I could care less?
Yes?
Well then you misunderstand me.
You see, your parting glance
it did not cut nor serve to interrupt.
No, now you've gone, and guess what
I miss you."

Although it doesn't ring true any more. I'd probably just ask "Why him?".

well dieseldelicious, you make me ashamed of my responses. The only reason i seem heartless is because i'm trying to be. The truth is that i love my first love very much. We had a bond; we learned a lot together, were a little crazy, and too invincible to realize that our mistakes would hurt us. He was immature and didnt know how to handle a woman, and i was too immature to exit when i should have. Part of me is bitter that i was the guinea pig, and that the new girl gets the best of him, but 90% of me wishes him the best happiness that he will let himself have. Falling in love for the first time is a bitch, and there are days that i wonder if you will every get over it....because i dont think i ever will. I wiill always wonder how he is doing, and hope the best for him. I wish we still could talk every once in a while, or grab coffee...but i dont think that is allowed.

@jessy1002, don't be ashamed of your responses, they were funny. i especially enjoyed the recreational drugs response. i loved it.
Love makes us a machine of emotion. We can't ask for certain things to happen as we wish, things of love only operate as our hearts are told. Our hearts do the walking, the talking, the decision making....and while we're so wrapped up in believing that that's a bad thing, it's actually a very natural, very beautiful thing. If we thought and felt with our hearts all the time, think of all the wars we wouldn't have fought. Think of a world without race driven hate, without murder. That's the ungiven gift of love, simply because we are so afraid to offer it for fear of being hurt, that we never use it's power.
Love is an innocence, not intended to break our hearts. Love is put here to teach us, to build is strength. Not to weaken us. If we can seperate the part that hurts- which is the physical/mental seperation from one person's presence when once they were there; if we can remove the grievance of that loss we like to hold onto so much- we can skim away until we find the purity of love's intention. And that is to LEARN. We can only except the loss we've faced, except that their presence is no longer with us, when we realize their presence is gone ONLY because it no longer serves us a purpose. We are all stepping stones (or on a more postive note), building blocks to the ones around us. We have had to be in certain people's lives in order for them to learn whether it was a positive or negative lesson, and we in turn have had to learn from others whether it was and easy or hard way to learn.
All we can do is take pictures, live inside of every little moment, and find the hidden blessing in every memory you hold in that heart of yours. :)

I think I like you.
Go out with me?
I love you.
I'm here.
Goodbye.

(The more important the emotion, the less words it takes to express it.)

@gnorb, i totally agree with the last sentence you said. "The more important the emotion, the less words it takes to express it." This is so true. I'm even AT A LOSS for words when the feeling surpasses the purity of "I love you".

@clarkey, i read over your reply to this post a few times. I like it. It's very honest. It reminds me of how helpless it felt to be without that person. At first, I felt so helpless that I couldn't breathe, I couldn't come to terms. Then I felt so helpless that instead of fighting a battle I had no weapons for or purpose to fight, I gave in. It felt much better to give in, because when you do that, you except the truth. You except everything.

@dieseldelicious: You're right, when you accept it things become so much easier.

Sometimes there are no answers and endlessly searching for them just prolongs the frustration and range of emotions we go through. Acceptance lays a lot of things to rest and clears a path for you.

I guess my reply was about hurt, anger, frustration, loss and self defence. In a word, me.

When all said and done being egocentric doesn't speed up the healing process, but I suppose we all like to be stroked at some points in life.