Chixe

Like a lot of things, marriage means whatever you choose it to mean. This is compounded by different views of it depending on your culture. Some parts of the world and some religions have arranged marriages still. There are places where Polygamy and Polyandry are accepted (if not the norm.)

For some people it's a lifelong commitment.
For some it's a bond based on religion.
For some it's an obligation.
For some it's a ceremony.
For some it's a means to an end.
For some it's a tax break.

I wouldn't call it an accomplishment. That sounds like it's a chore or, worse, something you're expected to do and you're only a decent person if you can "pull it off".

I catch your drift though. People have become more mobile, geographically, socially, work-wise, and technologically. It's becoming rare for people to stay put, in a place, a job or, even, a relationship.

If your folks've been happy, and it wasn't something they felt they were obliged to do, it's just great. I'm happy if others are happy.

And to answer the real question: does it mean something to me? No, I've never believed in the formal marriage, secular or religious, and I'd never feel the need to formalize my love for someone in such a way.

I think people tend to view marriage emotionally, but really it still needs to be viewed rationally to completely understand what is going on. Here are some things to consider when you begin to feel that all the world is divorcing or not marrying at all:

1. Good statistics are fairly modern, so our window of understanding is quite tiny in the scheme of humanity's existence.

2. Men and women--especially women--do not have to depend on each other, as in "old days" for survival, and so, for better or worse, you have more people making choices of the heart, rather than solely choices of necessity. Sometimes this means marriage, and sometimes it does not. Sometimes it's good, and sometimes it isn't.

3. Not everyone who is married is happy, and not everyone who unwed is unhappy. The opposite of this is true, too. Both things, and how they vary from generation to generation, affect how many get married and how many get divorced (as well as how often).

4. Does it have to be church-endorsed/state-endorsed partnership? A lot of people just live together now (I'm in that group), but my partnership is no less real. (We personally plan to get married down the road, but it's just a tradition to us.)

5. Does marriage itself really have to mean something? Technically, that's a legally-binding sheet of paper. What's really important is the commitment and happiness in a relationship, and that may or may not be found in marriages of five years or marriages of 50 years. It depends on the people in the relationship, not the institution of marriage itself.

Congratulations on your parents' 30 years of marriage; I hope they've been good. That's what should really matter, I think. Both people's happiness. If they've both been mostly happy together for 30 years, that's an accomplishment, perhaps, but if all that's held them together for that time is a sheet of paper, that's no better or worse than frequent divorces/remarriages.

Like Ozone, I think marriage itself, that certificate, is what you make of it.

Does marriage mean anything? I guess that could be measured by how much a divorce would affect you.

In the US, I think there's a generational definition to committment also. My folks are in their late 70's and married much more than 50 years. They are of the same religion and live in the same home they bought under the GI Bill in the early 60's. My father had the same position for 30 years. This was the era when supper was on the table every night at 6pm and their 3 kids sat down. Was it always 'happy' for them? Marriages and long term relationships are not 'happy' at all times. I think it's this realistic view that tests the strength of any two people and every relationship.