Chixe

I fear having daughters for this very reason.

<start internet sexism>
Boobs... that's hot..

*ahem* This all depends on how hot you are. We need pics.
</end internet sexism>

Seriously though, this depends on a lot of factors, mostly (if not entirely, based on how you describe it) on him. I'm not a psychologist, but he may be having issues with dealing with your woman... err, womanhood? womanality? womanaciousness? Anyway, he maybe having issues with that because of other underlying issues in dealing with women altogether. You may simply be the out for this particular issue because you're not just a woman (which he may or may not accept) but also because he's your father.

Have you tried to talk to your mom to see whether maybe she can share information on the matter? Also, what about spending time together with him in order to "open up" the channels of communication? It may take a long time, but it can get worked though, I'm sure. Finally, what about seeing a family therapist?

Edit: My wife went through a lot of similar issues with her own father (or rather, her step dad. Her biological father didn't want anything to do with her BECAUSE she was a girl). Unfortunately, the cause there had to do with guilt about some past misdeeds her father was involved with, something he had to face as she grew older.

I wish there was a "Take 5 Points Away" button for Gnorb's latest response :)

Mike: PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE CREATE THAT FUNCTIONALITY!

It's a per Father issue... some have issues with ANY of their kids growing up, some only have issues with their girls growing up and some don't seem to be bothered by it.

My daughter is six... so I don't have too much first hand experience with mine being all grown up, but my 11 year old sister-in-law let it slip that my little girl had a crush on a little boy in her class. It didn't bother me too much but it did alert me to the fact that "THOSE" days are approaching... time to start cleaning my guns ;)

I dont know if i view it as a valid enough issue to go to therapy for.

Anything is worth going to therapy for if you feel it will help you.

i have a twin brother too who i guess gets treated the same way. I think my dad just finds it easier to deal with kids.

i know...i'm a pro therapy person...i love learning about the mind...but i'm bashful to mention it for the fear of others people's opinions of it. A lot of people are too proud for therapy.

i have a twin brother too who i guess gets treated the same way. I think my dad just finds it easier to deal with kids.

Yeah, that's a pretty important observation. My dad was the same way until I was about 24, when my mom finally explained to him that I was a capable adult. It doesn't help that my 3 other siblings (ages 31, 25 and 24) still live at home.

My dad was not good with LITTLE kids... once we got old enough that we knew to point the shotgun at the ANIMALS and not HIM we were good to go.

He was clueless with rug rats. I'm kind of the same way, I find I have very little patience for 3 years old... and I'm much better with them once they hit like 13+.

I think it's always best to be honest. You don't have anything to lose by asking him out to lunch and telling him all the truth in the process. Chances are, it will encourage communication between you two. He may not even fully realize the distance or he may think there's something wrong between you two. There are any number of possible thoughts that are going through his head, and yet, meanwhile, he has no idea what's going through your head. You have to start somewhere. A good place is to be the one to start a serious conversation concerning the matter. If that doesn't work out, then therapy is a possible option, though I don't know that it's necessary for this matter.

Have you and/or your twin brother moved out of your home yet? I think this is an important factor to your relationships with your parents.

I agree that your mother is an untapped resource. After all, parenting together all these years gives her valuable insights. She's also a girl and may have some information to pass on about how women are valued in the family. Maybe your twin brother might be a resource, too. Before considering counseling, find ways to learn more about the situation. It's not that you must agree with what you learn and hear, but it gives you a starting point.