Chixe Thread: FIrst Thing's First. Looks Or Personality.

FIrst Thing's First. Looks Or Personality.

Scrivs — Tue, 27 May 2008 08:25:43

Appearance is the first 30 seconds. Then in perhaps the first five minutes is demeanor, body language. You can learn a lot about someone in 30 minutes, but I think both personality and intelligence take longer to gauge. It's an odd thing. Sometimes you get a good feel for a person that is accurate very quickly, and sometimes it takes a great deal of time to get the same connection.

Ozone knows all.

FIrst Thing's First. Looks Or Personality.

TLuv — Wed, 14 May 2008 19:39:19

Dating, what the heck is that? I consider myself lucky to just enjoy a sacred glance in a public place. But if I really tie my thinking cap on tightly I can just make out (no pun intended) a faint shaddow of days gone by.

I seem to remember being extremely nervous, so in that small window of 30 minutes you really can't ascertain much. You can hopefully have a meaningful tete-a-tete and discover if they have a sense of humor or not. That quality is a MUST! You can see if they will look you straight in the eyes & keep the glance for a few fleeting seconds. That is ALWAYS a good sign.

You can do a quick once-over in your mind and try to imagine what your kids would look like (I have to admit I have "fired" potential suitors over that one). Pretty superficial huh? Their voice is also an indicator - if you have a hard time listening to them for 30 minutes (squeaky voice, non-masculated voice, etc.), you will definately NOT want to keep that one!

If you are observant then you can watch them as you speak. Pay special attention to their body language. Are they really listening? Do they change their posture a lot, if so they are probably wanting to find a "Get Away" moment. LOL This one is also one to throw back.

Well, other than intense eye contact I can't think of any other things I would look for in a short interval. If they passed all of the above "criteria" then we would be ON for Round 2.

FIrst Thing's First. Looks Or Personality.

shadowsun7 — Wed, 14 May 2008 13:04:47

Considering that I wait a long time before taking friendships further - personality. Looks of course matter first (I'll call it a minimum bar of entry, to spark of initial interest), but then you're basically out there looking for someone who meshes well with you, regardless of how they look.

FIrst Thing's First. Looks Or Personality.

liza — Wed, 14 May 2008 01:57:15

Looks are important for initial attraction, but a smart person that I can have an intelligent conversation with is much more of a turn on.

FIrst Thing's First. Looks Or Personality.

NoelKingsley — Mon, 12 May 2008 19:08:53

Looks may attract me first, but it's their energy that will make me more interested in them. I'd hope to experience a warmth, calmness and an indescribable energy that attracts me more than anything. It's my experience that the most physically beautiful people can be not attractive to me, yet someone with quite plain looks can have a hugely sensuous and alluring amd sexy appeal. It comes from within. Body language will tell us how they feel, but that won't make me attracted to them. It's a spiritual (not religious) energy; it's in the atmosphere around them, it comes through their pores; it's in their eyes. Not what they say, but how they say it. It's in the silence that they allow to be and not in the noise they make.

FIrst Thing's First. Looks Or Personality.

Kamigoroshi — Mon, 12 May 2008 12:00:23

Body language and verbal mannerisms. Not so much personality or looks.

For many of the women I've dated, almost all of them I have been interested by the way they project themselves in the way they talk and what they talk about and in the way their body language says what they won't verbally talk about.

So yeah, I can't tell much in 30 seconds because I have trained myself never to judge a person by their looks. What I have trained myself is to read between the lines. Why they say the things they say, how they say it and why they act the way their act.

Intelligence plays a large part of my interest and that's the only way I can tell at first glance.

FIrst Thing's First. Looks Or Personality.

estarla — Mon, 12 May 2008 09:42:13

It's weird because I think looks have played a more important part for me lately. When I first started dating I think I "fooled" myself into thinking looks didn't matter and it should primarily (only?) be about personality. Well, that was a big mistake. Now that I look back I realize that my second boyfriend was a really ugly guy. And then I realize that that was because my first boyfriend was a vain MF and for some reason I had a need to prove to myself that I was nothing like him.

So yeah. Now I'm at that happy medium where looks and personality hold reasonably equal weight. You just need that chemistry to be there - why settle for anything less? I think the more elements it takes for there to be chemistry is telling of the maturity of someone's personality. Complete package, if you will.

FIrst Thing's First. Looks Or Personality.

leliathomas — Mon, 12 May 2008 09:24:46

It's all about if the person seems "real." I think I'm a person who pays attention to tiny little details, so I find I know a lot about a person before I speak to them. I think appearance can play a part in that, but it's more body language, style and interaction with others that tells me the most.

I think it's pretty easy to tell who goes for looks only and who doesn't. People who have boyfriends or girlfriends who always look like past lovers, to me, suggest that they have very specific physical characteristics they're going for. People who have had lovers past and present that look nothing alike are obviously not judging looks alone. I have my preferences, but those hardly matter if I've met someone that is fun to be with; none of my exes have been similar in looks or are similar to the person I'm with now. The only similarities have sometimes been in various interests.

FIrst Thing's First. Looks Or Personality.

JPhill — Mon, 12 May 2008 07:22:54

Looks definitely come first for me. I need to be attracted to something, and looks do that first normally for me. Then I pay attention to how they carry themselves physically (how they dress, body language, etc.), then personality. How they hold a conversation is key, so I agree with Ozone on that note.

FIrst Thing's First. Looks Or Personality.

Ozone42 — Mon, 12 May 2008 06:14:32

Appearance is the first 30 seconds. Then in perhaps the first five minutes is demeanor, body language. You can learn a lot about someone in 30 minutes, but I think both personality and intelligence take longer to gauge. It's an odd thing. Sometimes you get a good feel for a person that is accurate very quickly, and sometimes it takes a great deal of time to get the same connection.

FIrst Thing's First. Looks Or Personality.

dieseldelicious — Mon, 12 May 2008 06:03:04

Be honest. What closes the deal for you in the first 30 minutes of meeting someone? It's hard to tell a person's true character in such a short time, but you can't call a person shallow when a physical appearance can persuade you into wanting to find out more about them. So what comes first for you? List the five most vital qualities that hook you in that first half hour you meet someone, one being most important, five being least. And be honest. :)

For me, it's Physical Appearance, Well-Mannered Demeanor, Sense Of Humor, Intelligent Conversationalist, and Can Discuss Humble or Silly Topics.