Chixe

For me it was actually better because I knew what love was already and so it took that much more of a person for me to get there.

I agree with Scrivs. Plus, you're more mature so that makes it special. And you kind of know what you want now.

i dont know if falling in love for a second time will ever work for me

It'll work for you. And it'll come when you least expect it, almost bitch slapping you right in the face. But it'll come, and it'll work, and it'll be great.

It won't always hurt that that your first love is gone. You'll be able to remember your times together with a smile on your face and nostalgia in your heart. You will remember him and love him without being in love with him. And he will be always special to you.

But you will fall in love again. Second love, third love, fourth love... they'll come and go, and your heart will sometimes feel so full of happiness that you think it'll burst. Other times, it will hurt so much that you'll know it's broken. But then one day, if you're lucky, your love won't end. It'll be strong enough to stand the test of time. And no, it won't be like your first love. It will be better.

Don't lose hope. :)

Erin always knows what to say :)

Nah Josh, just a hopeless romantic and, unfortunately, a veteran of the Broken Hearts Club. Hehe.

Maybe so, but you still know what to say. Whether that be because you're a genius (you are regardless) or because you've been there.

The thing is, with all that there is to experience about love.

Why does it have to be the same?

Love, at least by my definition is every single human emotion rolled into one, amplified and expressed. Whatever you experienced in your first love, that's just the beginning.

The reasons why you seek the relationship however, changes the more we live and that's what it's all about. Finding those reasons for ourselves and in each other. Love isn't about finding the perfect person to spend your life with. It's about working towards that perfect relationship between two imperfect people.

Erin already said what I would have to say and being down those roads before. Despite its pain and the regrets, if you give yourself a chance to be happy, then it will find you. You just have to realize that people change over time. You change over time. Our definitions of what love and relationships are change over time.

I have seen people break their hearts and I have seen people say they will never love again a thousand times and a thousand times over. But you know what?

Love is eternal and so are our justified reasons for it. It'll never be the same, but it's just as amazing when we choose to live in it.

All I can say to that is "word"

you guys rock, and i agree love is 2 imperfect people working towards a great relationship. Thank you guys

it is about redefining your definition of love i think

I thought about this off and on yesterday while working and I don't think I'd want one love to feel like another. I don't think I'd feel like I was growing and changing if it did. Because of the previous relationships (each one different from the other) I know I can love very deeply and let someone into my soul. I don't let men into my heart easily so when I do it's something I truly appreciate.

Each time you fall in love, its different.

No, it won't feel like the first one, but I think it gets better each time. Because with every relationship you walk away from, you know something you didn't before, and it colors your future.

Falling in love the second time was better than the first, because it taught me that the first wasn't really real. I can't imagine what the third one will feel like, but I bet it'll be amazing.

And for the record, at 24, still no "fairytale love." Yes, I believe in it, but I haven't experianced it yet. I think fairytale love takes years to hit you. So, my grandparents had it, and hopefully one day I will too.

I don't believe in the fairy tale and wonder what is love anyway.

I believe it is partly pheromones which somewhat wrecks any illusions.

I imagine it is different each time, the worst part for me is thinking something is love and then finding out it really isn't- it wears off and then questioning anything that comes after as being not worth the effort because I will grow weary of that as well.

I believe it is partly pheromones which somewhat wrecks any illusions.

The pheromones wear off after about 3 months, and those just cause lust, not love. No amount of chemicals could cause love.

I imagine it is different each time, the worst part for me is thinking something is love and then finding out it really isn't- it wears off and then questioning anything that comes after as being not worth the effort because I will grow weary of that as well.

I question my past relationships, did I love them? I mean, was it really love?

I'm growing up, maturing, changing, and so is how I love and how I feel about it. It may not have been the same kind of love that I'm feeling now, but at the time, it was love. I loved them the best that I could at the time.

Three months, huh? I don't know... I know that's all scientific, but I'd like to believe that I'm old enough and mature enough to distinguish feeling from pheremones. Maybe not, but I just have a hard time swallowing that pill.

I think most mature people can distinguish between feeling from pheromones, but I think that teenagers have a hard time with that. They fall in love every ten minutes. Sheesh.

Disclaimer: Not all teenagers.

Actually, I'm inclined to agree with JoshAwesome on this one. There is love, there is passion, and there is infatuation. However, when people "fall in love" they're usually falling into infatuation and then mistake the passion they feel for that person at that moment for love.

Huge mistake.

I never liked the phrase "falling in love" because falling usually ends with something hard, usually unpleasant (reality? the ground?) smacking you, or into you. When it comes to the romantic love between two people (eros) I much prefer the idea that you grow to love a person, and that cannot be something you fall into, since it cannot truly be discovered as such until the hard times (reality? the ground?) hit.

Think about it this way: infatuation is when you see the car, buy the car and start driving it. Love is when you need a new fuel pump, need a new transmission, and hit a tree after a rainstorm: instead of buying a new car you decide to fix it, shampoo the carpets, wax the paint job, and make it better than before. (Or something like this.)

Go through a few hard times, then we can talk about love. Before then is infatuation, when you still don't notice -- or don't care to notice -- that her nose is really big, that he bites his nails, that she laughs like a hyena, or that he blows his nose after dinner, while still at the table.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on it. Is it more special than the first time? No. Not any less, either. But when you know something truly is love, and not infatuation, then perspective changes, and you realize that up to now you've not really understood what it all entails.

For the record, I think infatuation feels great: it's why I played music, why I wrote poetry, and why I did things I could not otherwise have done, like drive 12 hours to help a damsel in distress. One can't live without a little bit of that or the passion it gives birth to. However, it shouldn't be mistaken with love, which on top of all this will do what is necessary again and again and again, while infatuation will eventually die out.

(FTR: No, I don't care to get into a full-on discussion of the nomenclature, I'm just pointing out that in this particular case distinction should be made, lest confusion set in any further than it has to -- and it has to -- when on the topic of love.)

/sorry to be a party-pooper.