Chixe

The opposite sex is still a human being. I don't think there are any special rules. Just approach the person, and talk to them and pay attention. You will know if they are interested or not.

"I've seem to have lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?"

"Hi ASL pls"

Seriously though. Smile, nod and say hi, that's what I do. It doesn't get you much attention, but then, I only usually wait for opportunities in which to strike a conversation based on the opportunity.

You want a good conversation starter? Bring a rubiks cube with you all the time. That's the greatest conversation starter for all sexes all the time.

really, you act like the opposite sex are animals.

i feel offended.

I like guys who pay attention to me, not guys who say dumb pickup lines, or hit on me before i know them.

@Thehellkill: "I like guys who pay attention to me, not guys who say dumb pickup lines, or hit on me before i know them."

So, you'd prefer a guy just stare at you for a while before talking to you?

Technically when a guy or a girl comes up to say "hello" for the first time, especially in certain situations, wouldn't that be considered hitting on you?

I agree you should get to know people before taking additional steps... but someone needs to take that first step... and cheesy as they may be, people do use pick up lines once in a while...

If the guy is nerdishly cute, then he can say corny pick up lines. :)

involve yourself in theirself. say hi, introduce yourself, and then move on to them. small talk & 100 questions type stuff, get to know the person, feel the vibe and go from there.

You know...as much as I have heard of pickup lines. I have NEVER ever heard anyone use them in my life. That's just as well, most people I know are geeks. I don't think they are dumb enough to start using them.

It would seem so phony to hear guys say pickup lines, but if I feel the connection, I would like them anyway, but if there is no chemistry, it will be disgusted. Poor guys...

make her drunk are bring her home =)

The absolutely BEST approach is to introduce yourself and then ask their name.

yes, frotzed is right.

"Hi, I'm <name>, who are you?"

Smile. The opposite sex is attracted to people who smile.
A smile exerts confidence. Anything you say after a good smile would work every time.

i think it all depends on the setting, which is why I'd never really talk to other women when going to clubs and such.
Striking up a conversation is easier if you find something to talk about rather than just saying "Hi". for me at least

Talking from a female point of view, there are men that are "charmers". They walk up to me, say something witty, get me to laugh and from a distance they look the Da Man.

In my experience, a charmer never turned into the guy I wanted to keep around. I don't recall my female friends keeping the charmer around either. Why? Because they have this gift charmers are the #1 type to avoid communication. They will charm their way out of a situation every time - to avoid confrontation, disagreements, communication, etc.

The important thing (crucial really) is to be yourself. Otherwise you're creating a situation where the woman likes someone that doesn't really exist. The more women you approach the less nervous you will be.

The more women you approach the less nervous you will be.

Completely agree here. I remember in high school and early days of college I'd make too big of a deal about how I want to approach some girls. It was too much unnecessary thought.

Some people can't just walk up to other people, but I'd have to say get used to it if you want to meet more people. It definitely gets easy the more you do it.

There is nothing wrong with being a charmer. The way I see it, most guys separate the charm with who they are. As if it's just another piece of clothing they put on and take off.

I always think it has to be a part of you. In short, it has to be you. At least that's how I've always seen it.

Charmers are probably better than Posers. Being oneself and genuine is always a good approach, at least people will respond politely if there is no instant sparkle.

http://www.pickuppodcast.com is all you need.

I wish I was a charmer, that sounds like fun.

same here, scrivs

Come in wearing a T-shirt that says "THE FUTURE" printed in big capital letters on the front. Cover it with a casual unbuttoned buttondown. Go up to her brazenly and say, "Ma'am, I think you need to know that you're in great danger. You see, I'm from...the future." (pull back your buttondown to reveal your T-shirt.) "And I've been sent back in time to protect you. So - come with me if you want to live." (;

This one WILL work, but only if you are TOTALLY brazen and humorous about it...with an attitude lthat says, "Jeez, I crack myself up sometimes..."

I'm not really the expert on this, but I can tell you what I do and it's almost always worked except when she was already involved with someone. Time when it didn't work I figured the girl was too stuffy for me anyways.

If I see a girl and we start making eye contact here and there until I get the idea that there's an opportunity to go and talk to her, if that's what I want to do I am COMPLETELY honest. I'll walk up to her and say something like, "Hey, I saw you sitting over here and I wanted to come over and say hi. I don't know how to say what I'm trying to say because it seems like there is a right or wrong way to do it. I don't want to be pushy or anything, and forgive me if I seem a little nervous, but I was thinking maybe I could sit down with you and talk for a bit." My intentions are clear, I didn't back off, and I let her know that I am interested without being cheesy or anything less than authentic. I prefer to be totally honest. If I am at a loss for words I'll tell them that too. I'll simply state that I don't know how to approach her so I'm going to take by best shot and just let her know what's on my mind. What have you really got to lose? It always helps to smile while you're doing this too.

Besides, if that doesn't work use the Polar Bear line:

You: "How heavy is a polar bear?"
Her/Him: "I don't know."
You: "Heavy enough to break the ice, I'm (insert name here)"

You grow a pair and go say hello. Chit chat with them and don't be an ass.

SBpitcher - that polar bear line is funny! It probably works...

I agree with Vidar. Depends on the situatition. There are no pre set lines i don't think. Just go with the flow. Look around and see if you notice anything to start with. Like buying her a drink and walking over with it and asking to sit down beside her. Or if shes reading walk over and compliment her on her choice of books. Or ask who wrote it.

I prefer aggressive to submissive. There have been alot of "could of been" moments that did'nt happen cause the guy was to nervous to make a move. You can tell when someone is into you. You are aware of the stare. Most are just waiting on you to make a move. Some make the move for you.

Ha ha... I need this. Considering I have never been successful with a girl yet, I don't have anything to offer. But some of these ideas seem to be good.

@SBpitcher: That polar bear line is great. I love witty little intros like that.

Girls LOVE confidence, not OVER confidence, a genuine smile, and a good listener is always a bonus.

REMEMBER, if you don't have "the look" all you have is your attitude to fall back on, be upbeat but not like a cheerleader, and if you're a funny guy, the world is yours man.

If you run out of things to say, scream in her face letting her know this is SPARTA then proceed to kick her in the tits.

I almost forgot, the Polar Bear joke has a follow up.

A poloar bear walks into a bar and goes to the bartender and says:
"I'll have a gin....................................and tonic."

The bartender says: "Why the big pause?"

The polar bear replies: (hold up your hands as though they are the paws of a polar bear) "Hello, polar bear..."

Corny pickup lines are okay if you actually know they are corny and are joking when you say them. If you actually think that what you're saying is smooth, then you will fail. Miserably.

I find that casual, real, conversation is the best.

What are you aiming for? A night or two of fun, or a relationship? If it's a relationship, you're better off going after men or women that you know from another context (college/hobbies/church etc) then you'll have something to talk about. Even Neil Strauss (that pickup bloke) said he had to ditch those techniques when he met a woman he actually wanted to be with.

I'll defer to others on the one night stand bit, it's not my thing :)

I've always been a fan of "fat penguin". I've never used it myself but have seen it in action and it works.

How it works:

Walk up to the opposite sex and say "fat penguin" and the normal response will be "what?" which should trigger your immediate response of "I was just trying to break the ice".

Although corny (really corny) I just think its hilarious and even more hilarious that I have seen it work many, many times!

go figure...

I would say, be genuine and honest. Take notice of her interests and engage her in a conversation. Don't act like someone you're not. Unless you're really good at it. Girls can see through all of guy's fake shit. At least any girl worth pursuing will. Also, a female ego will never refuse a sincere compliment.

Stare at the ground, shuffle your feet, nurse a drink alone in the corner. Maybe mumble to self.

Oh, the post is looking for good approaches, not personal ones. Please disregard.

One of the secrets of picking up random women is to look like you are not hitting on them. You gotta go under the radar. This means - walking up to a lady with a big grin and saying something like - "Hey how ya doin'?" won't get you laid, it will get you ignored.

When you approach strangers especially women, their first fear is - when the hell is this guy gonna get out of here or is he gonna keep me busy all night? This is why the first thing you gotta do when approaching a woman you wanna pick up is to set a time limit. Say something like - my friends are waiting for me over there, so I gotta run but.... This gives you a social proof - you have friends-and makes them feel comfortable - you are gonna be quick and go away soon.

The second step is to get them interested and demonstrate higher social value. Once you do this successfully, they won't wanna let you go.

Don't open them with boring questions like - how are you doing, what's your name, are you from around here, what do you do. I mean, seriously, women are so bored of answering the same dumb questions like they are at a tea party at their grandma's.

Women love giving advice...especially on relationships. So, open them right away with a relationship question/situation and ask for their opinion. Make one up. It doesn't have to be true, they won't know. It will get them interested though. Here's one -my friend bought this shirt with funny cartoon characters on the front and he thinks it's a chick magnet. What do you guys think - do girls go for guys with kiddie looking t-shirts?Now you got them thinking and interested. They will start a conversation, one will say no, the other one will say yes, yet a third one will say - well maybe. The point is, you are in, interesting and fun.

Now we got you talking to women.

I didn't know Mystery was a member here...

Not to knock your advice, I just find Mystery funny.

I really have nothing of value to contribute to this. I can't recall ever actually approaching anyone. I tend to rock the JoeDrinker style of wall flowering.

A guy came up to me and said "are you good in bed? Cos I bang like a door in a hurricane" Cheesy as hell, maybe, but it made me laugh. That was over 15 years ago and we're still friends!

Haha. I was w/my girlfriend at the bar and we were just leaning on it waiting for the bartender to get to us. This guy comes up to us and asks us, "Nice bar, eh?"

We kind of looked at each other sheepishly before smiling and saying, "...Yeah. It's nice."

Then he looked embarrassed and then said, "I'm sorry, that was really lame. I'm just gonna buy you guys drinks and leave."

And he did.

We made some small talk but anyway, I gotta hand it to guys--it's hard shit.

Last weekend, I was with a friend, and we saw a girl sat alone at a table not too far away. We briefly pondered approaching her and asking her to join us, then decided against at -- he was drunk and would make a fool of himself, and I would just try to have sex with her (his words, not mine, accurate thought they may be). But then we saw she'd started crying, and felt bad. So I went over and asked if she was alright, genuinely concerned.

She told me to fuck off, apparently thinking I was hitting on her. (Shame, because she had nice eyes.)

Moral? Don't hit on crying girls.

On the other hand, you can hit them so they have a reason to cry :D
lolwut

That used to work. But until the feminism fad dies down, it's best to steer clear of having "encounters" with women.

But then we saw she'd started crying, and felt bad. So I went over and asked if she was alright, genuinely concerned.

She told me to fuck off, apparently thinking I was hitting on her. (Shame, because she had nice eyes.)

Some people hate sympathy. I definitely hate it, although I try very hard not to swear at people. It's not fair on you but also it's not personal.

I met my fiance after I walked into a lamp post (I can't walk and talk at the same time) and he laughed at me. I thought he thought I was a prat for weeks but I probably wouldn't even have remembered him if he'd been all nice and sympathetic.

So his reward for not being nice to an injured girly is to get to laugh his arse off at her falling in the linen cupboard (last night) etc.

"I don't always smell like this."

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

Smiles and eye contact with the sentence "My name is ---" seems direct enough.

Have you considered martial arts or dance lessons? Guys who know how to move are hot.

Have you considered martial arts or dance lessons? Guys who know how to move are hot.

But the thing is you can't show off martial arts. Whereas you can show off musical ability and dance and basketball. *sighs*

But the thing is you can't show off martial arts.

No but you can hire professional goons to mess around with the girl, then pretend to beat them up, saving her and making you look like less of a dork.

Compliment her and be genuine. Most girls will really open up to you. Not that I'm a player, I just study people.

Having grown up in a giant Marine Corp town where the ratio is ten men to one women, I can safely admit that I've been hit on more times than a punching bag. Bad analogy, I know this. I'm not funny. However, I will tell you that HUMOR has a lot to do with the way a woman will respond to you. Having a sense of humor when you first introduce yourself to a woman suggests a lot of things. It says that you're lighthearted, fun to be around, NOT a threat or worry, and it also says that you're comfortable with your surroundings and most importantly, in your own skin, and THAT'S sexy. The only problem with showing your sense of humor so early is that you risk falling into the friend zone. But who cares- you take a risk in itself when you approach a women since usually we're on bitch auto pilot when we see a man coming. lol If you have confidence in yourself, you can go FAR with women. But you have to have that confidence first. Women can pick up on false confidence and we don't like over confidence either. Just play it by ear and treat each woman you meet as an individual and go in with stride. You'll do just fine. :)