Chixe

There's no need for an explanation. Sometimes society tends to try to push the ideal that a single person is half a person, that we become "whole" when we find the right someone. That's a lie. Everyone is a whole someome, single or not.

They say 'Awwwww'? Who the heck is saying that to you?

I'd be a lot more worried about someone who had just a boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/partner and didn't have friends than a person who has friends, but not a boyfriend.

My fiance is in California right now, so today I went out for brunch by myself. It was fantastic. I went straight to the counter of the local 45-minute-wait brunch place and skipped ahead of all of those couples and groups. My order was taken quickly, the counterperson kept an eye on my coffee needs, and I had a great conversation with the person sitting next to me.

@Abi - lol. The Awws mostly come from adults, namely relatives on my Korean side who think I should be married by now and that there must be something wrong with me seeing as I'm nowhere close.

But I do get the 'why nots?' from pretty much everybody. I think part of it is that I'm not particularly ugly, so I guess it must mean there's something wrong with my personality, lol.

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Just to clarify. I don't think there's anything wrong with being single, and I definitely don't think there's anything wrong with me. I'm just trying to figure out why other people think being single is so taboo.

Maybe it's a generational or cultural thing. My parents (probably the generation of your grandparents) think couplehood is better than singlehood. Why? Interestingly, what seems to be behind their opinion is a question of severe health problems that one spouse 'takes care of' the other.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being single. I think most people tend to feel lke they are meant to find something, someone. Given that it may be difficult for people to understand how anyone could be completely happy without a companion. I kno wthat I can relate to that feeling. As much as I love my friends, there are moments that I can't share with them that I caould share with someone I was intimate with. And I think some of that comes from the human need to feel human closeness. I am reminded of an old psychology experiment where they put monkeys in with two seperate fake mothers. One was a stuffed animal and one was made from wire and was hard. The animals all gravitated towards the softer one. Even when they found out that the fake mother offered nothing in return, they still went to it and seemed to have a need to be close. I dont think people are so different and I think the soul is more complete with something like that to share itself with. Maybe that's where some of the sideways feelings come from.

If you are happy with your situation then there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. There is a major difference between being alone and being lonely. Many people don't realize that there is a difference. And, it is often their need to have a partner that influences them to say what they do to you.

You sound quite content with your life and with being single, and that is a positive thing.

You should never have to explain yourself or justify youself to anyone. It is unfortunate that sometimes others make us feel as if we need to explain.

Well, with parents and grandparents it is a whole different story. They probably want babies.

I'm in a relationship right now, but I like being single too. I like the freedom to hang out and not have to worry about flirting too much.

Abi: You're right, and quite often it is the parents and grandparents who push for marriage.

There are also married couples who choose not to have children. And, they shouldn't have to justify their choide to anyone, either.

The most important thing of all is your own opinion and your own happiness. No one, no matter how well meaning, has the right to judge or make comments about your choice.

It is something you just have to learn to ignore. I think some people do it because they are actually miserable, stuck in a relationship they have no idea how to get out of and are settling trying to make do.

No one in my family does that to me, thank god, although my one living grandmother does tend to think that every guy she has ever seen me with is my boyfriend - because the concept of a girl having a lot of guy friends does not click with her. She calls it "highly suspect".

I'd be a lot more worried about someone who had just a boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/partner and didn't have friends than a person who has friends, but not a boyfriend.

Indeed. I think it is just an automatic reaction people have in that they assume people are necessarily happier when they have someone in a relationship to "depend" on than not. But that's just simplified, acculturated thinking. It is far more tragic to be with the wrong person and dependent upon them for fulfilling emotional needs than finding yourself as an individual and being content in that.

Nothing wrong at all... I've been single for a while and much prefer it to being in a relationship. I think it's just different personality types at the end of the day. I'm the kind of person who sometimes just needs to go run away for a day or two and dissapear. I'm perfectly happy keeping myself company and figuring out things to do on my own time.

Ha ha. Great question.

It's just a norm in society that we pair up me thinks. So, when you are a person of a certain age, others assume you are involved or, if not, something tragic has happened.

Just ignore it all. It's better to be single than in a shitty relationship. Plus, you could miss the right guy if you're wasting time with the wrong guy.

I think they both have their advantages so be happy in whatever situation you are in and if not happy, change it! I was recently in a relationship with a woman in which there were some great times. It also gave me a sense of security in life, knowing that there's someone there for you always. Being single again, you lose that feeling, but you also gain the freedom to do what you want, and when you want with no questions! So enjoy it..

My boyfriend has been working (on a contract basis) in another state for 4 months now, and during these four months, I've done pretty much everything by myself, including lunch (sometimes you just can't find people to go out for lunch with, dinner isn't that difficult).

My friends find it weird that I actually do not mind having lunch by myself, but I'm surprised. I mean, what's wrong with having lunch by yourself?! *shrugs*

Thank God nobody really asks me when I'm getting married, except for nosy friends, whom I can still handle :)

It could be worse: I don't get a sympathetic "Aww why not?"

I think frotzed and auburn got it right.

And is your guy friend single too? The whole "It's a shame that you're not taken yet. They must not see what I do." comment is something I'd say to hint that I like someone.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single! OMG what is society coming to? Every person (woman) has a right to find their own niche in this world and if you are ok being single, thats great!

My mom and my ex husband do the same thing to me...and it makes me crazy! I was with my ex since I was 26....weve split when I was 37, now I'm 40 and perfectly happy just dating and seeing people for fun. Give me a break....do what makes you happy!

nobody make you cup of tea...

If being single makes you happy, then you should do what makes you happy. I think it's funny that so many people think that you have to be in a relationship to be happy.

@letstry: Just cause you're single doesn't mean you spend your days sitting alone in cafes or in parks, looking at all the other couples in the world pass you by, haha.