Chixe

More importantly----who would START the wars?

I take that you haven't seen an all girl bitching cat fight. I've seen brawls by men less scary than that.

But the thing is you can't show off martial arts.

No but you can hire professional goons to mess around with the girl, then pretend to beat them up, saving her and making you look like less of a dork.

This works with every girl in every situation, guys. ;)

You haven't met my girlfriend. If you piss her off. Stay the hell away from her till she calms down. If she's pissed off but not at me, then only I can hug her. Aside from that, when she's in a bad mood, she just wants to be left alone and not because she says so either.

But in addition to this.

Cook for her whenever.
Prepare her lunches if she works and eats out.
Clean up after yourself and after her as well.
Give her ridiculously transparent reasons to just see her because you want to.
Take her out wherever, whenever. Doesn't have to be a date. Just to have fun with no strings attached.

I'd like to think that we'd keep y'all around for the sex and poo jokes.

You can tell I grew up surrounded by girls who were anti-men feminists. :)

@Lelia: Since I was 8. Technically it's the violin, but it'll do in a pinch. Though, I haven't played in a long time though.

@Scrivs and RightOn, after the women crack the secrets to this, the whole purpose of men being around would be very short lived.

@Lelia: You bring your fiddle, I'll bring mine. We'll do a duet. I think I can chalk that up for something that makes me happy too.

Playing a musical instrument or singing together with someone and getting it right.

Considering we'll soon find a way for women to have children without men, yes, that's entirely possible. No wars. No bad beer. Just a pretty pretentious world that's cut throat with ulterior motives. :)

But while on the subject, you should read Y: The Last Man which is about a world where the all male mammals have been killed in a plague, save for one man...and one monkey. It's a really really good graphic novel.

Being surrounded by friends who won't turn tail and run at the slightest hint of trouble.

Being surrounded with all the big boys toys that I wanted and could finally afford.

Being successful at the end of the road after pulling off things that most people would have given up upon.

Being with someone you love, snuggling under the blanket on a cold winter night talking about everything and nothing at all.

Sitting under the night sky underneath the stars on a cool night pondering the universe in all it's infinite glory.

Sex (I'm actually surprised no one mentioned this).

Domestic male. Loves to listen. Loves cooking. Cleans up after himself. Knows when he's wrong. Sensitive but not too insecure. Geek. Handy around the house. Loves reading snuggled under a blanket next to the fire place on a cold winter day. Would also love barreling down the sand dunes in a monkey powered racer if such a thing were to really exist.

Would like to know. Female. Well read. Adventurous. Good dose of humour. At least understands geek speak without necessarily being able to work it. Knows what she wants and will do what it takes to get there. Doesn't mind talking about everything and nothing.

First loves?

"You know we'd make better best friends than we do as lovers right?"

Umm...well...I'm kinda used to it. My family never celebrates my birthday and my parents even forgot mine. To be honest, I grew up on that so much, some years I've even forgotten that it was my birthday so it's no biggie for me if people forget.

That is until recently because Mel's kinda determined to make up for all the years I never had a birthday celebration.

The secret of a good marriage is that the woman is always right.

The secret of a happy marriage is that the man is always right until the woman comes home.

Whatever circumstances there are for marriage, you have to make sure that they are the right circumstances, at least if you want the marriage to last. Whatever those right circumstances are, they rest entirely between you and your partner.

The only catch to saying that there is no right age for marriage is when you consider a 40 year old marrying some 16 year old or younger. What if the person is 9 years old? Does having it that young make it wrong or are we still going for there is no right age?

For me at least the right age to be married is when you're ready. When you know it's your own choice. When you know that whatever comes your way in the future can be dealt with together with that someone you love. That's when you know you're right for it, no matter what the age.

We'll stick to the most famous one.

I think, therefore I am - Descartes

Others are:

The mere consciousness of my own existence proves the existence of objects in space outside me.

Whoever wills an end, ought to will the means.

- Immanuel Kant

All credibility, all good conscience, all evidence of truth come only from the senses.

Egoism is the very essence of a noble soul.

Fear is the mother of morality.

Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings - always darker, emptier and simpler.

Wit is the epitaph of an emotion.

To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity.

No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

You can tell I'm a student of Nietzsche's works. :) I do have one of my own though. I'm not sure if you want it or not, but it's what I understand. "Reality is defined not just by how you see the world, but how the world sees you."

Wrote a very very long post. Talk about bringing back bad memories.

Whoa...too many to list down. I'll post it on my blog instead.

My partner is my best friend. She's been there when I need her. She's been a thorn on my side when she's having fun. She's crazy and unique enough that we bypass all the cloud 9's in the relationship and get down to the things that matter.

I think that's what a relationship should be about. Sure, the cloud 9 moments are great, but to think you're going to be spending the rest of your life with someone. I rather have that someone watch my back. You can't have any better than a best friend.

So here's to the little things everyone takes for granted save for the ones we love. That's what love is about. Everyday's a Valantine. :)

I realize that I should answer it too. She shares a habit with me where we sit and snicker at people who buy into the valantine's day commercial madness.

But I for one always keep things simple. Home cooked dinner and a red origami rose. We don't really subscribe to a special day for love not when we spend everyday in it.

Love is hurt. It is also joy, sadness, bliss, agony, pleasure, pain, generosity, selfishness, passion, obsession.

Every single human emotion that exists, rolled into one. That's love. If what you felt from it only reflects one emotion. Rest assured, that is not love. Not by a long shot.

Tyme, I can completely relate to that because even now, Mel spoils me with things I can't possibly afford to pay back. For instance, for Christmas, she had a gold penguin pendant made for me and bought a crapload of books to add to my collection I've always been meaning to buy but never could because I'm short of cash.

I on the other hand can only afford to get her a book she'd never expect and some cheap things I know she'll appreciate. I can't give her the same kind of pampering in return and at the end of the day it doesn't matter.

What matters is the way we appreciate what we get. I know she'll love what I give her and she knows I love what she got for me for me. Getting what we don't expect but love anyway is a way of "one-upping" each other. Doesn't mean that I wouldn't want to pamper her with the same riches she's used to. It just means it's something I can spend my life working towards knowing she'll appreciate it all the same...and we can get some competitive satisfaction out of it. It's the way both of us are.

The price doesn't really matter simply because you can't put a price on the reason you do something for someone you love.

My partner used to earn more than me. I have no problems there especially since we live together. We just divide the household items according to what we can afford. There is no shame in that. She brings home the bacon. I cook and clean. It's a fair trade off.

The main question is...why should it be a problem in the first place?

Every parent is like that. Even if you're 30, your parents will still treat you like they know better than you. You can't fight it because the irony here is, the more you fight, the more they will impose all the stereotypes on you for being the rebel and that can be more problematic.

I don't know how open your parents are, but in my experience, as long as parents are open enough to get to know the friends you hang out with, they will be ok with it. It's the fact they don't know anything in your life and the fact that as a teenager, you're becoming emotionally independent from them that they feel a need to compensate for that loss by being...well...parents.

I know how you feel right now, trust me, I have enough bad blood between my parents and myself stemming from those times till now that I can sympathize. Don't judge them too harshly for it. Just remember, parents do they best they know how to do. Part of what you have to do is to help them along as well. Try and be patient and go with the flow, things will be better later on.

Few things here that are important.

Why did you break up in the first place? If that's not really resolved, then getting back together would be more than just a little inconvenient.

"Quite sure she's still in love" is different from "knowing for sure she's still in love", so find out.

If you have nothing to say, no reasons to give now, then what makes you think you have reasons to keep her staying in the future? So think about that.

Just remember, nothing is as simple as wanting something and getting it. In a relationship, there are a lot of things to think about and work through because at the end of it, it's not just about you as well. It's about what she wants too.

Like everyone here. I would definitely say no. What your friend needs isn't money to get out of it. It's to get help so they he can get out of it himself.

Sometimes the hardest and best thing for a friend to do is to give a good slap. Forget prideful nature, forget him disliking the fact you aren't lending the money. He needs someone who will point him in the right direction. He's got to get his financial life in order and the best way you can help him at it is to say "Stop and work this out one problem at a time."

Your life is like a canvas. The picture that ends up on the canvas depends solely on what you make of your life.

@Tyme: Oh so true. We make the final picture what it is, no matter what mistakes or genius along the way.

@rahulpatil: I am a close suicide on 2 separate occasions, I battle depression constantly and I have a habit of being physically self-destructive. What stops me from going any further is trying to put what doesn't matter aside and focus on needs to be done right now.

The question you shouldn't be asking isn't what do you need to forget or what do you need to start over. Your past is you. It makes you who you are. The question you should be asking yourself is what you should be doing right now and what do you have that pertains to what you need.

As bad is our past may be, only we write it to be worst off than it actually is. It's still part of us. You can't run away from it any more than you can run away from your own shadow. What you can do is owe up to it. Live up to it. Learn from it.

Stop and focus on what matters and they can't touch you. At the end of it, your life is determined by what happens in the future and what you do right now to get there.

The past is only but frozen moments in time that can't touch you anymore. Whatever demons trail you, it's only by your choice that they haunt you and only by your choice that they go away.

Yes and no.

At this time, my biological clock is going a wee bit too fast for a guy and I'd love to have children of my own to raise. Just that at 24 or rather where I am now, I don't have the financial stability to raise them. Maybe in another 4 years down the road.

Raising a child I realize is pretty hard work. You're responsible not only for yourself but for the future well being of another person...completely. Every mistake you can make could result in your child growing up to be a bad person. I'm not the most conventional person in the world. What if my children hate me? What if they get into trouble because of me?

When I was younger, I promised myself never to let my family fall into the same problems I did. It's a promise I'm willing to kill for and willing to die for. The question is...can I live up to all that responsibility? Now. Me. Standing where I am. Having all that I have.

Maybe I just think too much, but having babies doesn't just mean the obvious cleaning up after them. It's so much more and you know what...personally, it scares me to hell knowing I might screw up.

Maybe that's something you should give thought too as well.

I was raised in an environment where you either control or be controlled. Because of that, I've always did whatever I could to be in power to prevent things that shouldn't be happening from happening.

Of course, I learnt that power isn't always about having great showmanship. More so since I'm not the type of person to carry such obvious display of charisma and control.

In a dominant submissive relationship for instance, it's the submissive that are in control of the relationship. I can work with that.

Give half to my parents.

A quarter into my children's education fund.

One eighth into my savings.

One eighth for my partner and I to go wild.

I think that makes a lot of sense.

Truthfully?

I never had any steps. It usually is a walk in the dark. The last breakup I had, had me in an almost constant state of depression for a good 18 months. The only thing I could do was just keep moving forward, keep doing things that took my mind off things. As long as I kept myself busy, I didn't have to think about the pain and the loss (because the relationship was complicated and the breakup was even more so).

So what did I get out of it?

I mastered the rubik's cube. I now know how to code my own blog. I started drinking for the first time. I met great people. I learnt how to close my heart and I learnt how to stand on my own two feet better.

I think I'll still be heartbroken if the same things were to repeat themselves, but...I guess some part of me is dead. I can move on easier.

Hard to live without air, water, food or even money. But assuming we're not talking about essentials.

Love in the arms of the one I care for and the company of my peers.

You can survive without it. No one can really live without being touched by it.

I've gotten to the point where I realize I don't need resolutions. I know what I want in life and I've always done what it took to see to all my resolutions in the past, so it makes no point seeing I have a bigger picture. I guess in a way, I've already picked up what Nils is doing.

Make it all count, even if I have to do it one day at a time. Just see to it that whatever you need to do gets done. That leaves you plenty of room to enjoy the rest of life's little lessons what we often take for granted.

Wow, I didn't expect this many replies at a go. I'm glad most of you appreciate the good things that happened in your life. I know there is a tendency to focus on the bad (which I always do), but still, helps to know that there is always a spark somewhere of good.

@Bloglily: Hope it all goes well radiation therapy. I hope there isn't much less or you've finished even. If so, that would have to be the best moment in your year too I would imagine. :)

To kick things off though, I'll answer my own question.

My worst moment was finding out that my girlfriend had to leave the country and my side because of visa issues and none of us knew when she could come back.

My best moment?

Knowing I've just got accepted into honours and I'll be graduating from my (two) degrees after 5 years of slaving over this point. You have no idea how much weight of the world is off my shoulders after knowing I've gotten this far.