Chixe

All animals (dogs and cats included) have different personalities. Our two dogs are testament to that and they are both labradors from the same breeder so that looses the breed as being a certain indicator. We often joke about them being 'Pinky and the Brain'.

Dillon (slowly the name DIlbert seems more appropriate) is the big huggy bear, about as tough as a jelly, if he goes about 10 minutes without a hug he'll come and get one (he also tries to hug back) and not the sharpest pencil in the pot. Barley on the other hand is more what you'd call 'cat like'. She's independent to the point of 'meh humans', could easily be the brightest dog I've ever known let alone owned, she doesn't play with toys (Dillon constantly has a kong in his mouth), she is tough as boots and probably would quite happily hunt for her own food, she also has a tendency to get the hump and sigh a lot for no reason - not very labrador like.

Often it's also due to their breed and bringing up. Barley was a re-home from a house that didn't abuse her but weren't about all day so she's developed a more independent edge - although nurture aside I think Barley's nature is to be most of the way she is. I've owned many dogs and can say that there were some cross overs but on the whole each one had a different personality.

So long as your eyes are open you should go for it if all agree. But, I do agree that the heat and this breed could be an issue, however we have a black labrador and they are known to over heat (male labs and black bad combination). We are lucky we have a river near but when we move we are looking at getting a doggy pool - don't laugh. In the UK it's hardly hot a lot of the time but even here you have to make sure they have the option of water. Of course labs are a bigger dog though.

The main thing is being aware that a 7 month dog is like a toddler and chewing is also a potential. You won't get so much compared to what we got with a lab (they are known for chewing and destruction at their toddler phase). For instance, Dillon ate walls - no I'm not joking. I'd advise if you do get it getting a toy known as a kong - you can get small ones for smaller breeds and some kong paste. This is a great method of giving them something to do while you are out - sometimes you just can't be with your dog 24/7.

I'd also say the first week you get it enrole in training with it as you've already missed the puppy foundations you can put in place. You may with a 'second hand' dog have to unlearn or even teach things that should have been learnt before. Barley was a re-home at 2 years old and we were lucky but I've had previous rehome dogs that needed a lot more work as a result.

Above all I do agree that as long as your thoughts on health and illness are the same and you are wide open about it - you should go for it. We never regretted adding Dillon to our family even though we had Barley before him.

Ying and yang always sums it up for me. Way I see it you can have male and female traits and be whatever gender - it's just the two sides of the coin and we blend to make the world go around as part of the human soup.

My husband made me a kick arse pizza - that was pretty good today. Also yesterday we went and saw our potential new home which isn't where I wanted to move to but offers us so much potential if we get it - I would end up with a kick arse design studio space as part of the house. I'm going through a disappointment phase and coming out the other side with things happening I'd never have imagined would - so pretty good phase if it all works out and if not well it is only as bad as was before ;)

Starbucks is almost a county away (read long long drive) so I have home brews most of the time. There is one coffee shop about 15 mins in the town away that is half worth it but a long way to drive just for a coffee when I don't have a car most of the week.

@auburn: yep family members times 2 over here. Mine is karmatosed as for a long time it's been my username and stems from a semi nickname and old handle I had of aimgel (to the point angel and from my linux irc days) and then to karmatosed aimgel - first blog / type site and then to karmatosed. It fits as I don't hold many 'beliefs' but karma is one of them.

Weekends for me are a catch up time. Like Mike there are less emails and calls so it's a time when I can take my time. I usually try and sort things out like accounts along with try and have a break on Sunday for a few hours if possible. I'd also prefer a day off in the week (2 would rock). Since working at thoof though I'm getting a taste for the 'no work' days which mean I can catch up on things that have piled up over the weekend. I like the sorting time it gives me for emails that have built up over the weekend and other things I haven't had chance to get around to. The slower pace is also a relief after the week.

I've never had a long distance relationship so can't overly comment. However, if you both love each other then distance won't be such an issue - there is always a way around things. The problems seem to come from those I've seen, where 'thoughts' and insecurities creep in. I think if you can keep a balanced mind about it you should be good. Then again, if you are even thinking about the distance as being a problem you could find that you don't feel as much about this person and you're not using it as an excuse but it's a sign you should end it even if there wasn't any distance.

When it was time to choose my career at school the career that I wanted to do didn't exist. I knew I wanted to do art and also combine with coding. Back then (here comes me showing my age) web design wasn't a career. As I went through college I wavered between a fair few different options and did several subjects in various degrees. It was only when I left and did photography and writing for a while, that the net was mature enough to be an option and I went back and did a degree in software engineering - taking as many web options as possible as it was still not a big option study wise.

When I look back I always knew what I wanted to do and the paths I took may have seem random but I kept coming back to my current career. I always loved programming and kept it up no matter what I was doing. I knew what I wanted even before the career existed - odd really. I was lucky that although at the start the option wasn't there it came not too late in my life so I could fall into it. I couldn't imagine doing something different - it satisfies both my coding and design needs and also is a career I wake up in the morning looking forward to doing.

Just Tam over here really (actually prefer it to my full name now) - had old nickname of Fred but now it's Tam unless online and the karmatosed thing.

@shadowsun: for some reason I can't help but think of the phrase 'keep on truckin' - we need 'keep on blogging' bumper stickers :)

Thanks again peeps.

@Tyme: Yep I did have a good day. Today was spent doing tax and accounts so not so yay. Although I think I'm going to win this year against the tax man so potential yay ;)

Yay a happy birthday to you too - it's a great day for a birthday.

Thanks to you all. I've had a good day - rained a bit but warm summer rain so not complaining.

Thanks a lot for all the happy birthdays. I can officially say 32 doesn't seem so bad. I had a late night reading Harry Potter - working my way through the entire set from book 1. Got up late and no alarm clock - the world is good. It's sunny also and I plan to go and watch doggy football later today. Doggy football with our dogs is more like Vinnie Jones and Gazza having a pub brawl but it's fun to watch ;)

Well I've got 4 solid days off from tomorrow so planning on a sort things out and chill out time. Looking forward to doing those 'on list' jobs that never get done.

Thanks for the advice Tyme. I think I'm really in the going to have to see side. The only difference is my age which is young (although women can have it in 30s). I think the food is the one I will be looking at. Normally if you do diet vitamins it's a lot better I find. Well at least I don't have the 'OMG I'm at this stage in my life' :) We shall see, the upside is once it's over injection and / or operation - there is no way I will have my 2 medical issues related to it. That is one good side of these illnesses that a lot can't be cured so easily - with this they remove bits / shut them off then once get through reaction to that I will not have the problems.

Well, I've been treated before by this herbalist and Simon gets treatment for Chrons with him. He's a been treating Simon's family for years and never had a problem. I also have had acupuncture from him for my back and he worked wanders. I am very respectful of any medicine and certainly never take the approach a lot do that 'it's just herbal'. Natural can harm just as much as man made in my opinion.

@auburn: I don't know if it's usual, in the Uk we have the NHS so any 'type' seems to get lumped together. In my hospital the baby scan / baby clinic and normal clinic are together as all 'women's' issues.

@Kami: yep I'm also thinking of upping my vitamin b12 as apparently that can help. Just found out I get to see a dietician also which should help a lot in figuring out how I can get the things that will help me without popping pills.

I am going to be opting for chinese herbal medicine along with the traditional western medicine. I am lucky to have a herbalist that can work along side my treatments. If nothing else I could end up more healthy the rate I'm going lol. Nothing like a medical issue to wake you up to a lot of things and get you sorted - guess we all need a wake up call sometimes.

@auburn: Simon (my husband) is very supportive. I'm incredibly lucky that he has stood by me through it all. I am also luckier as we didn't ever plan to have children due to the fact he can't and I also can't. In some respects this is all a lot easier as a result of that.

I feel for those women who are facing this but want children - to me theirs is a worse situation. I have seen more than one woman sitting in the clinic I go to looking at the children playing with tears in their eyes. I actually have found the way they put both pregnant women and those with problems like mine in the same waiting room. I wasn't effected but yesterday whilst there again noticed one woman sitting next to the play area where 2 children were playing with tears in her eyes. The room is covered in 'baby' posters and advice material. I really felt for her as she sat there on her own obviously facing a similar situation to me.

Thank you so much for your kind words.

@Estaria: It's an odd feeling as I really have been through the frightened stage and now I'm at the 'get it done' stage. The longer term issues are the biggest problem as early menopause apparently increases some risks. It's odd how a lot of women just like me ignore their own bodies and 'put up'. I've been told whilst getting both conditions is uncommon that they are both fairly wide spread issues. I've been offered counseling and although I am not feeling the need for it I'm going to take it to find out more about what to expect.

@Kami: Yoga was actually something I did before I was ill and I'm definitely interested in tai chi. I have practiced martial arts most of my life and now face not being able to do that at least until I'm much better. Tai chi seems a good option for me to keep mobile and strong mentally and physically. I've been told of the osteoporosis potential with the early menopause so have to reduce the impact of yoga - I was doing the full form which now I have to look at more gentle forms.

Ham, cheese and pineapple

In mine:

Husband that can cook,
Inability to cook - read as burns water,
Chinese take away phone number.

Listening to N*E*R*D
Answering a 9r note
Just scratched my ear
Just finished a cigarette

Happy birthday to you.... and so on ;)

Country does have a large indication in this along with cultural things. Spinster and other labels are just hang overs from past centuries really. Whilst I am married, it was not for what anyone would see as traditional reasons. When it comes down to it now women have the choice politically in some countries to decide on whether they marry or not - the pressure culturally varies from nation to nation. Having the choice doesn't make it less important - it makes it a choice for the individual and how important it is depends on them.

Happy belated birthday over here, sorry missed it and big hug to make up.

Coffee and croissant is fairly usual or pan au chocolat. I also do the bad thing of cigarette with it. Sometimes I opt for melon or fruit of some form. Took me years to get into the habit of eating anything for breakfast and sometimes I still can't do it.

I have always had more male friends than female friends - heck I even married my best male friend. When it was platonic though he and other male friends would stay in shared houses I lived in. I've been branded with a reputation before due to having that many male friends - it always made me laugh to be honest as I knew the truth and don't really care about gossip like that. He's a human being who needs a place to stay and there is a spare room - the problem is where in this? Sounds like your housemate is the over sensitive one. Either that or they don't like the person and are using this as an excuse.

I didn't know you could work on the web as it wasn't about when I was a kid. But, I did want to combine technology with art in some way. I went through a lot of varying 'wants' for my career from teaching monkey's to sign language (yep I did say varying) and in and out of more traditional fields. Ultimately, I am doing what I wanted as I never wanted to stop learning and as a web designer that will never happen.

Well Simon doesn't wear a ring so really I think the ring thing isn't such a big deal. It isn't about a piece of jewellery it's about the commitment you make. Yes, that symbolises that but really it's a bit of metal when it comes down to it for me. I do wear it but I have no concern over Simon not wearing one. He has issues finding one that doesn't annoy as he has the big boney knuckles thing going on which means all rings just rub around as have to be big to get over his finger.

I did take his last name though. I didn't really think about not doing so. I did at one point feel I'd never take a 'man's name' but that was when I thought I would never get married. When it comes down to it whatever is right for the couple should be what you go with. Bare in mind that being a couple also means it should be right for both of you.

Keeping dominance is great advice. Being a female it's not such an issue as a male dog but it's good to when playing with them roll them gently onto their side so they submit - at least for the first few weeks to make sure they work out their place in their pack. Doing in play is not threatening but what happens in a pack - the lower ones submit to the alphas. The greatest advice I got when we took Dillon home last year as a pup was to be a benevolant leader. When they are doing wrong tell them but not so harshly as to scare and when they are doing right tell them and praise them. Dogs work on the reward / punishment mechanism but punishment to a dog is not violence, it's having things taken away or not being praised.

Barley our older labrador is now 5 and she only goes to the loo on grass - but she also only ever goes a few times a day as she's apparently got the oddest bladder I've known in a dog. Dillon would go to the loo 100 times a day I swear if allowed - we just leave the back door open as he's happy about the yard. To give you some indication of exercise, our two are labradors so considered medium dogs and at 5 Barley needs about 2-3 good walks a day (hour ones) and Dillon needs about the same but with more work and interaction. He's just turned one now.

Play is a great bonding thing and make sure you have time in the day for play with them. Also, you can use something like a simple stroking / quiet time of fuss for gentle trust building. This also ensures you can touch your dogs paws, legs and body along with building the bond. The key to getting a dog is the first few weeks of bond building.

I also think the 'not on my couch' club are a bit odd, in our house the dogs can go where the human's do with 2 exceptions: the kitchen work tops and dining room table - we once found Dillon trying to get on both.

On the subject of 'feeling sponges' as raised before. I totally agree, think of your lead like a transmitter to your dog and be careful about making sure you are the leader on the walk. It's all common sense really just enjoy it and have a friend for the rest of their life.

Marriage is a 2 way street both in the ups and downs and giving and taking. One thing I've learnt in mine is don't take anything for granted. Also, in mine we were friends a long time before the marriage and in many respects that moving from friends to partners was one that we took semi-lightly (did the Friends series will they won't they bit) but only when in it did we both have a moment of 'who is this person?'. It's a dramatic change and that can be a good and bad thing.

We're heading towards a decade of being together and almost 1/2 of that time has been married. I totally agree in the communication part - every relationship though has different levels of communication and finding and maintaining that is crucial.

I don't quite know what it would be like to have that long a distance relationship so can't comment on that. All I can comment on in relation to that is what's been said before and work is work after all. Sure you love your job but if you love your job more than your husband isn't that a problem in itself? If you love your husband more and he does you then maybe there is a half way meeting point here? Way I see it one of you has to give before the relationship does. Not great to hear but I think you do need to invest more time or admit you are just not suited now. That is a horrible thing to think but it happens to people.

Saying that... one of the points of marriage is to notice and work through such times like these. I'm just not getting that your lives 'fit' each other anymore from what you say. That seems a big problem.

Coke over here or coca-cola.

My dogs give me moments of the day - times when it doesn't matter how bad I feel or how bad the day has been.... I've always got a wagging tail and furry hug anytime I want.