Chixe

Looks may attract me first, but it's their energy that will make me more interested in them. I'd hope to experience a warmth, calmness and an indescribable energy that attracts me more than anything. It's my experience that the most physically beautiful people can be not attractive to me, yet someone with quite plain looks can have a hugely sensuous and alluring amd sexy appeal. It comes from within. Body language will tell us how they feel, but that won't make me attracted to them. It's a spiritual (not religious) energy; it's in the atmosphere around them, it comes through their pores; it's in their eyes. Not what they say, but how they say it. It's in the silence that they allow to be and not in the noise they make.

My Mum was 7 years older than my Dad. They had a great time until she became ill and died a few years ago.

Yes.

The early morning sun.
Silence
The sound of a well played violin
chocolate
Having something to look forward to

I also believe that I make myself happy and don't need outside things to make me so. It's a mental choice and attitude. I'm happy if I choose to be.

Plus some more chocolate...

When I was19 years old (in the 60's), living in Glasgow, Scotland, I got it into my head that I'd go to the US and live there. I bought US papers to see what Jobs I could do. I'd never been but seen New York in films and television. It seemed a great place to go. Why I wanted to leave Glasgow, I don't know except that I felt I might do better and be happier across the Atlantic.

Naturally my parents were worried about my wild notion. One day my Dad said to me, "when you arrive in the US Noel, you will still have with you the thing that you're running away from. That's yourself." I thought about that and decided he was right and to stay in Glasgow. It didn't make much sense to go so far, change so much when the thing that was causing me so much unhappiness was myself. So I decided to change myself instead and start appreciating what I had already. Nothing against the US (great place), but now I'm glad I stayed and looked at myself a little more realistically and made more of myself instead of putting it onto external things, locations etc.

I bet Portland's nice, though. But only if you're feeling nice inside. And if you're feeling nice inside anyway, no need to go. :-)

There are some great comments here regarding what we love about ourselves. Thanks for your thoughts.

Muhammad Ali has great insight and a wonderful view, he said, "It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am."

I'd try and be grateful for what I've got.

Coffee gives me the shakes and I get really stressed with it. Can't drink it at all. Coffee's a really strong drug. I think a fatal dose is the caffeine from 25 cups in one go. Not to be tried. It should have a government health warning on it.

I drink tea a lot and that's fine. I drink far more water...and hot water. Good for the digestion and liver. :-)

Be really calm, strong and feeling for her. But remember you are not responsible for her. You are responsible for your own actions and words. You are responsible for what you say and how you say it. But you are not responsible for how she reacts to your words. That's her choice. She may play victim and hard done by in an attempt to make you feel bad about finishing the relationship. But you have to be true to yourself. You can't be true to anyone else. You must do what you feel is right for you, and do it in as courteous, considerate and respectful way as you can. That's all you can do.

Move on.

I've got a very good friend who has been a house-husband for over 20 years. When they had children they discussed the situation and agreed that her earning potential was greater than his, so she goes to work every day and has done all this time while he has looked after the children, done the washing, shopping and everything else. They're still very happy and the children have grown up. I guess it was because this was their choice rather than anything else that's helped it all go so well for them.

No, I wouldn't give him the cash. But I would pay for him to go on a personal development course with Insight Seminars. It doesn't sound like he will change his habits and way of life until he feels differently about himself or comes to terms with some deep issues. A course with Insight will provide the opportunity for him to do this with other people in similar situations. I've done quite a number of Insight Seminar courses over 10 years. It changed my life. Might be worth looking into. You can't 'make' him do it; he'd have to commit to the 5 day workshop, but if he sees it through, he'll come out a different person, guaranteed. If he did the seminar, your money will have been worth a hundred times that as it can affect the rest of his life. ....Just a thought.

Randomkay, I love the ratapult idea.....at least in theory, although I don't think I'll do it! Thanks though!

:-)

Thanks Guys. :-)

I tried screaming loudly but that didn't work. Actually it came our rather without tryinig. But being a man it was more like a Yikes! Wooooah! Xxxxx and a bit more.

We live in a nice old house that's 1850's built and like all old houses they're full of cracks. It's impossible to plug them all. But we've had some success with our traps, poison and broomsticks. Not seen one for two days so that's promising. They get wise you know... They recognise traps and stay away despite it having yummy chocolate or peanut butter on it. They don't eat the blue poison from the little plastic trays as they recognise them too. But if you mix the posion with the food so it's blended and put the food/poison on a piece of paper towel on the floor, then they go for that.

Thanks for all your ideas, solutions, comments and wisdom.... :-)

Taken outside, they come back in again. It's warm.

I knew someone who found a rat in his bathroom. He stood in the bath with a broom pole but the rat turned on him, bared its teeth and spat in defence. My friend didn't like that too much. Took him months to recover...

You have God's gift, Kamigoroshi. :-)

I'd relocate to the county of Dorset in SW England. It's beautifullu quiet there and great walking country with the open sea nearby. :-)

Thanksgiving comes but once a year. However having an attitude of gratitude for everything that is wonderful in our lives, really helps us feel good. I often write a list of things I'm grateful for or think of each thing in turn. If we think of 100 things that we're grateful for and give it 10 minutes, we're likely to feel pretty good. Try it if you haven't done so already. It's good to give time to this every day.

Believers in the Law of Attraction would say that what we think is what we get in life. We attract into our lives more of what we think about. So avoiding thinking of problems and debt (because we do not want any more of those!) is helpful and to think of things we like, enjoy doing, having, experiencing, giving and sharing is all likely to attract more of the same. By thinking of things that make us happy we will attract more things that make us happy. As Einstein said, "Your imagination is the preview of life's coming attractions".

So, I'm grateful for the eyes I have to see and the fingers that let me type this comment, the fingers to play my violin and use a camera, my friends, family and the banana I've just had, and, and, and...... I'll continue this privately to not take us too much space here on 9 Rules. Oh, and thanks for being such a great community. :-)

Convidence is key. But you can't just 'put on' an air of confidence as it doesn't come over authentically. If we pretend to be confident it often appears over done. This quality comes from within and is directly related to posture and how we hold ourselves. A poise that is upright, broad and also relaxed is what we all need. The best examples can be seen in children of 2-4 yrs old. We were like that too until we lost it with the onset of posture habits. With postural expansiveness comes emotional confidence and security, and it's authentic. You got it right first time, Scrivs.

I believe we can have that 'falling in love' feeling, instantly. The chemistry between people can cause us to feel amazing, and all those endorphins make us feel wonderful. But we don't know anything about the person on first encounter and that takes time. The state of 'love' (deeper and more profound) takes over from the 'falling in love' gradually, but may not necessarily happen when the initial infatuation passes. Just a thought.....

Lifecruiser, I like your sentiments. Sounds as though you would make an ideal friend, yourself. The qualities you describe are what I would certainly like too....

When I was 20 I had my first sessions in the Alexander Technique for posture etc. I thought it was great and wanted to be a teacher myself. But I lived in Scotland and the closest training centre was in London, I had a new girlfriend and a new job in retail marketing. The idea to train as an Alexander Technique teacher was too far a stretch for me. I didn't know then that 18 years later I would eventually train to do exactly that on the 3 year full-time training course, at the same training center I'd been recommended to, run by a man who had worked with FM Alexander himself. You never know how things work out..... Where there's a will there's a way!

I particularly enjoy things that are no longer popular, such as early 20th century art, early 20th century music, writing with a fountain pen and wet ink that needs time to dry, playing my violin, using photographic equipment that is manual and non-digital. I guess I was born in the wrong era. :-)

Natural yes, normal no. Would get a fright if my elderly Mum and Dad did this.

my avatar is taken from the logo for my website. My work is Alexander Technique for improving posture. Meerkats have great natural poise.

How you carry yourself makes a big difference to how you feel and how others relate to you. Posture affects our emotions as much as emotions affect our posture. Cartoon character Peanuts had something to say about that, as I posted a while ago... http://www.noelkingsley.com/blog/archives/2006/04/posture_happy.html
If someone improves their posture (i.e. have sessions in The Alexander Technique) then it can make huge changes in how they come across to others, as well as feeling great too; it makes you taller, broader and more relaxed.

I'd move to Dorset, England. Have you been? It's beautiful here... I'm on vacation in Dorset right now. It's quite different from the business and noise of London.

There are four beauty products that I like and they're all free...

1. Drink 2-3 litres of water a day
2. Get enough sleep and also a 10-15 minute nap in the middle of the day.
3. Breathe lots (Don't habitually hold your breath)
4. Think nice thoughts.

Just feeling great. Knowing I have the choice in how I feel I can make my day good or otherwise. It's attitude. I'm happy just being happy.

The pitter-patter has no hurry. It does not rush; it has pace, ease and grace. Maybe we are connecting with a primeaval past when we were fish. The sound of rain is so .....refreshing, .....wet, ......calming. Yes, it does it to me too.
Noel