Comments
12 CommentsI have been going around with this girl for the last 2.5yrs. Both of us are students, shes just 1 yr junior to me. She has a male relative in Singapore, thats where we study BTW, who also owns a medium size business doing quite well actually. This male relative is 40+ with 2 kids and a wife with whom he doesn't get along. Hes a major womanizer also.
The problem is that my gf used to do some part time at his firm to gain experience and all that. One day while he was dropping her back he told her that he likes her. No touching was involved. My gf told him to stop the car and got down from it. Late she told me about it and I went to his house and confronted him in front of his wife. A major argument followed and he apologized to my gf and also to her mom. My gf then din talk to him for 2 yrs and finally started talking to him in 2006. Now apparently he called her up today and gave her a job offer (my gf is about to graduate). The pay is really good compared to the standards here and now she really doesn't know what to do and neither do I.
I know the note is pretty long but please help me. Should she accept the job offer or decline it considering what had happened earlier.
Written Feb. 24, 2007 / Edit / Report /
It is really hard to give opinions on what others should or should not do in situations such as these.
My opinion however is that it is odd that you are asking for advice for your gf, does she want advice?
If your girlfriend were to ask me this question, just knowing the information you gave me, which may or may not be the whole story, I would say that she should consider very carefully the intent of the person who offered her the position. If one is being offered more money than a similar position usually pays and one has already had reason to believe the employer is a rat ass womanizer than one can - without being unreasonable - assume that things have not changed much.
The question is is she interested in dealing with such a situation because chances are ninety nine to one that the same thing will happen again.
Josue
Written Feb. 25, 2007 / Report /
Go for it, if he does anything, sue him.
anshuljain
Written Feb. 25, 2007 / Report /
cooper: no shes not asking for any advice. She is really confused as to what to do. Ofcourse she did not ask me to get help form 9Rules. The point of the note was to gauge how many people think that its safe to accept such a proposal by their own experiences and all that.
Josue: Hehehe.. yea..i will be more than glad to do that
Written Feb. 25, 2007 / Edit / Report /
No, it's not safe in my opinion, based on my experience.
phantomdata
Written Feb. 25, 2007 / Report /
I definitely would not do it. Having your ultimate superior be someone who is married AND likes you would weigh too heavily over my head. Once employed there, what happens if he makes a move? What happens to her job when she says "no"? What happens if this position makes her say "yes"? I always put peace of mind and happiness above money.
chris
Written Feb. 26, 2007 / Report /
Seems like the pattern of habitual womanizers or abusers. It's a cycle of wrong-doing + gifts. Not knowing anything else of the situation, I'd say to pass.
Ozone42
Written Feb. 26, 2007 / Report /
I'd never take a job with that kind of personal history involved.
Tyme
Written Feb. 26, 2007 / Report /
Well, he's:
1) A relative
2) Admitted he "liked her".
For most people, that would be enough right there. Add on to it:
3) He'll be her boss.
4) She'd be financially dependent on him for income.
So my question would be: why? What exactly is she confused about? Is the money the only draw - because if it is, then the question would be why is he willing to pay more than average?
stefani
Written Feb. 26, 2007 / Report /
Absolutely not.
jensized
Written Feb. 26, 2007 / Report /
I would seriously question your girlfriend's ethical and moral fiber for even considering taking this job.
Plus everything Tyme said.
auburn
Written Feb. 27, 2007 / Report /
Tell your girlfriend 'no'. There is no amount of money and no family relationships that are equal to your own self-esteem. It is a dangerous move to deliberately jeapordize it.
Kamigoroshi
Written Feb. 27, 2007 / Report /
Singapore eh? I'd pass. The legal system there doesn't make it that easy for someone to sue for sexual harassment at least that's what I remember.
Coupled with the fact your girlfriend would be indebted to him for the job. He can use that as leverage against her if he hasn't changed. Personal conflicts and jobs never mix. She'd feel trapped or at least very uncomfortable there.
Not a good way to start something. So pass it.