Chixe Thread: Age doesn't matter

Age doesn't matter

LorriM — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 21:19:48

I really think you need to listen to your parents...and not to what we have to say. They really have the final word on your dating situation, in the end.

Age doesn't matter

Ozone42 — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 18:43:38

I agree with everyone that is saying you should be learning about yourself, and enjoying your youth. I agree that you should be careful, and be curious as to the reason the older person would want to date someone with such an age gap when both are already so young.

However, to everyone that is saying "you shouldn't be dating that young," that's a load of bollocks. I would agree that you shouldn't be in a very serious relationship so young--in most cases--but this is something very individual. No one can tell you definitively what is right or wrong for your individual situation.

Now, it's a very good idea to be careful. It's super-easy to make mistakes in your youth. You don't have the experience to draw on. That doesn't mean your an idiot. That doesn't mean you're gullible or reckless. Certainly many people around 13 or 14 are... but everyone is different.

The age taboo exists because of the general case. It's easy to take advantage of someone less mature, so those that are younger should be careful of that. You should ask "why aren't they dating someone closer to their age." The answer to that question is not necessarily bad. You should take into account the bad possibilities, but not let them blind you to the good.

Age doesn't matter

LorriM — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 18:10:08

You should be learning about yourself and should continue to have a childhood/teenage years without dating someone that much older than you (you really shouldn't be dating at all in a one-on one situation, in my opinion). It would be better, if you were dating someone, to date in a group, or at least with another couple. It is a great way to ease into the dating world. Four years might not sound like a lot, but in this situation, it is.

Age doesn't matter

auburn — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 17:20:31

The good thing about this country is that we have laws. The bad thing about this country is that we have laws. As other people have mentioned, maturity does not factor into laws but age does. Please don't sneak around and get this older person in Big Time trouble.

Age doesn't matter

pelf — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 06:26:24

For a relationship to work, it takes more than just looking at how many years one party is older than the other. Some people mature faster than their age. For example, says who a 25-year-old girl who has gone through a lot of hardships (hence is more matured) cannot be with a 33-year-old man?

My ex was less than a month older than me, and when we were dating, I felt like I was his elder sister more than his girlfriend. He has been shielded and protected by his parents since small, but I, on the other hand, had to figure out a lot of things by the time I was 12.

But then like cooper said:

Besides you shouldn't be dating at 13, you should be discovering what you are good at and you should be trying to get better at it.

And I can't agree more! :)

Age doesn't matter

Cappuccino — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 04:20:41

The difference between a 13 and 17 year old dating, versus say a 40 year old and a 45 year old dating, as some have already mentioned, is maturity. I realize this advice will fall on deaf ears, when I was that age I thought I knew everything, I doubt its much different with kids today.

Age doesn't matter

cooper — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 03:24:55

A 13 year old guy or girl usually does not realize the reasons that the older person wants to date them. I don't want to hear any society BS. The fact is that 13 year olds are generally way too naive to engage in any sort of serious relationship (whether thats what they are looking for or not).

Besides you shouldn't be dating at 13, you should be discovering what you are good at and you should be trying to get better at it.

I know this because I am sitting in a room full of 22 to 30 year olds as I write this and they all concur. They are brilliant people btw and they were all 13 at one time in their lives.

Age doesn't matter

Vidar — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 02:54:37

@jackosh: Yeah, I was just about to say that myself.

and you pass the magical age of 17/18

Its not about magic, but the legality of it

Age doesn't matter

jackosh — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 02:10:02

@ focused: who said anything about 18? no one ever gave a "maturity age"...

A 13 year old guy or girl usually does not realize the reasons that the older person wants to date them. I don't want to hear any society BS. The fact is that 13 year olds are generally way too naive to engage in any sort of serious relationship (whether thats what they are looking for or not).

PLUS the relationship is a crime for the 17 year old party within a year anyways. Do you know why its a crime? Because an 18 year old is mature enough to know how to take advantage of someone that young, and the younger party is often too naive to realize this.

Age doesn't matter

focused — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 22:25:44

That is society, and there is nothing you can do about it.

It's a certifiable double standard, in that a younger person, usually a girl, another double standard, is frowned upon going out with someone who is 1 year older or more.

And reason always given for this, is that your parents are more mature than you, or that you should be going out with people your own age, and etc. There is never a real good reason given, EVER, and you will never hear a good reason.

What's funny to me, is it implies automatically that, no matter who you are as a person, and no matter how mature, it's not ok for 17 and younger, but once you get older, and you pass the magical age of 17/18, somehow in those very few seconds upon reaching that age, you gain the maturity that you so desperately have been longing for, all those years. /sarcasm

Age is NOTHING, but a number to signify how many years you have been on this earth. As far as I know, there is no scientific equation that says age == maturity, and I sure don't see people applying to jobs based on how old they are.

I know 15 year olds who are more mature to handle a relationship like that more so than a adult would. But that's society in today's world, and at this point in time, there is nothing you can do to escape that.

Your ideas and thoughts are not even considered until you hit that magical age of 18. For the first 18 years of your life, your opinion does not matter (unless you happen to agree with society, which in that case you are seen as a well brought up man/woman).

It's no more right than basing the validity of someone's comment on a blog, solely based by their post count (or in 9 rules case, how many points you have). When I was 16, I was more mature than MOST of my family, but like I said, doesn't matter.

And if you choose to fight it, you will be ostracized by society for not keeping that way of thinking, even though they can't give you a sufficient explanation for their reasoning. Unless you are ready to go against the grain of society and for that matter, the grain of all the people you know and love, I wouldn't take that route, because it is a long hard journey. Sometimes it's better to just do what your parents say.

It's ultimately your (or what ever person your referring to) decision to make.

Age doesn't matter

jackosh — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 20:58:39

your parents are both older and mature.

its different when you're that young- you'll understand when you're older.

Age doesn't matter

ConnorWilson — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 18:34:10

I think the problem with that age difference, at that age isn't that you too don't like each other, or anything like that, but in those 4 years, a lot happens. No matter how mature you think you are, when you're a grade 12 student (About 17), the grade 9 students (about 14) in high school seem so immature . And they are, comparatively.

The age difference at a young age is only blown out of proportion because so much happens in those earlier years. Once you get older and have kids and all that stuff, and you've met at a later age, all that stuff has already happened.

It would help if you told us your gender, but I can only assume you're a girl dating an older guy.

Age doesn't matter

NothingMatters123 — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 17:53:08

Do you think age matters in a relationship?
Say like a 13 year old or and 14 year old are in a relationship with a 17 yearold. Is that bad? My parents are 5 years apart but they say its bad for me to date someone a year older when I like someone 4 years older and they like me back. I have no idea what to do.
Please help!